Will it Ever End?

I feel like my school journey will never end and I also feel like I have been doing it FOREVER! I am so close to applying for the nursing program, yet so far away. After this semester, I could apply for the program here in AZ, but there is a wait list of at least two years currently. Although, I have registered for classes here in the fall, just in case I'm still here, do I go ahead and apply for the program as well? I really don't want to, but I might be screwing myself by not applying. I have contacted a university in Indiana about their requirements for their nursing program, but have yet to hear anything back after 2 attempts. In order to apply for the program here, I have to shell out $75 for my fingerprint card. *Sigh* If I do that and then go, I will have wasted that money because my fingerprint card will not be valid in Indiana. But if I don't get the card, I can't apply for the program here in AZ. So many decisions! I am just going to wait it out through the summer to see what happens before applying. I know the sooner I apply, the better, but my future is up in the air right now.

Although I am actually getting a B (*Gasp*) in my Math class, I cannot wait for it to end. My brain is usually mush after class four nights a week and I generally spend my entire weekend doing Math homework. Sometimes I get so tired of doing this whole school thing because I am in my 30's and most of my classmates are all these young people who have mommy and daddy to pay for everything. They don't take school seriously, barely slide by with a passing grade, and they all have the attitude of knowing their parents will pay for everything. Then there's the older crowd of us, the ones who work full time, struggle to pay our bills and school because we are on our own, who study our butts off for for a grade, who really want a degree in something worthwhile and will sacrifice so much to get that degree. And as unmotivated as I get, and as much as I hate school sometimes, I continue to persevere taking one or two classes a semester until I get my nursing degree. I hate the fact that I have student loans, but the end result for me is to do something good with my degree. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I desperately want to be in the mission field as a nurse. Maybe working in that AIDS clinic in South Africa or maybe working in a Dengue Fever clinic in Honduras. I have no idea where God wants me, I just know I am being called to the medical field, working with the impoverished countries. It has been something on my heart for a long time.

And so I continue. Continue to spend an obscene amount of time studying and doing homework. Continue to search the web as well as book stores for resources that will help this old 34 year old brain of mine to comprehend everything and to keep up with these young kids. Continue to pursue that degree in nursing that I have been doing for at least 5 years now. There's a part of me that regrets not going to college right after high school, but I know everything happened for a reason. I had life experiences (good and bad) that I wouldn't have had if I had gone to college. So, I think the only reason I regret not going right away is being older and struggling with school. But in another aspect, me being older has given me the discipline to buckle down and do things like homework on a Saturday night when I really want to be hanging out with some girlfriends. Or taking all of last spring break to study for my nursing entrance exam. It's all about determining what exactly are your priorities. Right now, my priority is passing this Math class and getting one step closer to applying for the nursing program.

"Education is the process in which we discover that learning adds quality to our lives. Learning must be experienced." ~William Glasser

Almost there...

I have numerous things to write about and feel compelled to update the ol' blog. I could write about my struggles. *Sigh* I really don't think you want to hear that. I could write about this new adventure I'm on. I could write how my birthday is soon. *Hint to family members*. The problem is that there's so much to write about, in many different aspects that I don't even know where to begin.

A lot of what I need to say should go the private blog. Even then, I'm not sure how to word it all. And so, in the need of updating, I'm going to talk about school. Because I can always talk about that subject.

I've been in school almost three weeks now. And I'm flat out exhausted. I'm only taking two classes, but they are both the ones I put off till the very end. Math and Chemistry. Basic Algebra and Basic Chemistry. Both which seem so foreign to me. I honestly despise them both. Gah! I decided to take my Math online. BIG MISTAKE! Since I'm not good in Math anyways, doing it online is consuming a lot of my time. I enjoy my Chemistry professor, but he doesn't play around and there is a lot to learn.

So, I'm studying and doing homework constantly. Trying to retain everything I can. I could very well be doing homework right now, but I needed a break. Tomorrow I will resume. Although, I'm crazy tired, my spirits are still intact. And that is saying a lot for me and school, even three weeks into the semester.

I believe my spirits are still good because this is my last semester of my general requirements before I can apply for the nursing program. *Grin* OMG, I have been on this journey FOREVER and I can't believe I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel called pre-requisites! The 2-year plan has turned into the 4-6 year plan. Yeah, yeah say what you want about me taking it so slow. I don't have the luxury of going to school full time. It's not easy managing work, school, church. I really don't know how people who are also married or have children do it.

The nursing program has a wait list. I am looking into other options as to maybe getting into a program quicker. I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a shot. If anything, I will take those 300 level Spanish classes I've been putting off while I'm waiting. :) I so want to be one of those people wearing cute scrubs and just working with kids. When I see someone in scrubs, I become so envious of them.

And it will be me soon enough. I would I could just snap my fingers and have my nursing degree. Gosh, I wish I could snap my fingers for a lot of things in my life. I sometimes wish I had gone to college right after high school, but that path I took was part of God's plan. It was the path that led me to Him and had I actually gone to college immediately, my future could of been different in a lot of ways. Good, bad, indifferent. I don't know how it would of been, but I can say this much, who knew when I would of found God had I taken a different path? So, the long haul through school has been worth every single step.

Okay, do you feel updated enough? I hope so! :D

Mr. Grumpy Gills

Lately, I've been just plain cranky. My mouth has been bad and my attitude has been horrible. Poor Kristine and J has had to deal with the brunt of it. I blame it completely on stress from school.

I made the mistake of taking another class besides Anatomy & Physiology this semester. Some people can handle taking classes with A&P, I however cannot. I feel like I am constantly doing homework, studying for a test or lab test. I don't get a day's rest in between.

It usually happens every semester about half-way through, I start to lose motivation. I start to hate school. I start to care less about an education and it's just because I'm so burnt out from my classes. That time is now. I'm exhausted!

Anatomy is a hard class. It's a lot of memorization and I think my stress is multiplied when my professor only teaches half the time. He started off the semester cussing something fierce. He stopped doing that for a short time, but now he seems to be back at it again. On top of only half teaching Anatomy, he's wasted my class time by watching videos on YouTube like UFC Fighting, Bon Jovi, the world's biggest zit, etc. He starts to teach, but then goes off to a whole different subject. He always has a story to tell us, 90% of the time it has NOTHING to do with this Anatomy class that is costing me about $700.

This past Tuesday, I came very close to just walking out of his class. Because apparently watching two Bon Jovi videos wasn't enough, we had to watch some Aerosmith as well, 25 minutes after class was supposed to start, he decided to teach. Ultimately all this teaching he's doing (or lack of) is really affecting me. I know I can learn this stuff, but I need a little guidance along the way from a professor.

I'm seriously at my wit's end right now with him and I'm dreading going to class. It's a test night, normally on test nights, we take the test and we get to leave. Not so much in this class. He does not give us the test until he's told us at least two very long stories that once again have nothing to do with anything. He gives us the test, proceeds to talk through most of it. Oh and let's not even begin on the subject of how offensive he is or how he talks about people in the class and mocks them.

Annoying.

Annoying.

Annoying.

At the end of the semester, we fill out evaluations on the professor. Yes, he may look good on paper, but does that mean he is capable of teaching a 200 level biology class.

Sorry, I needed to vent. I feel a smidgen better. I just have to try and not let it bother me. Strive for my good grades and never look back.

Whoa, hold onto your hats folks...

This is an actual update! I remember the days of blogging where I used to blog every other day. Sometimes it was thoughtful posts, sometimes it was an update as to what is happening in my life, and sometimes it was just a post of pictures I had taken. But somewhere along the way, I lost the want to blog. I have recently been wanting to blog again. I remembered last week that Heather and I agreed that when I pass, this blog as well as my private one are going to be put together into a memoir of sorts. So, I should keep up on the blogs. Even if it's an update like this one. Beware folks, it will probably be long. :)

It's very early (5 a.m.). I was just laying in bed and decided to actually get up and blog. Okay, here's the update in my favorite form of posting, bullet points.

• School has officially started and I have to admit, I started studying for my Anatomy & Physiology class a few days before school even started. I know, I am a total NERD. However, this is my 2nd time taking this class. I need to buckle down and ensure I actually pass it this time. I feel refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things. I feel more confident about this class, maybe it's because I have taken it before? This is the first time my professor has taught BIO201 and the second he said that, I started stressing. And although every teacher needs to have a chance teaching their first class and he seems to know his stuff, he cusses like an absolute sailor. Which I am struggling with. I will tough it out and keep this class, I'm not dropping it. However, it's very unprofessional and downright disturbing that this man can't hold a conversation without cussing. I am also taking Nutrition, that doesn't start till next week.
• I always say that I will be 90 when I finally get a degree in nursing. But I sat down last week and looked at my classes that I still need to take. And if I am reading this correctly, I only have 2 classes left to take before I can apply for the nursing program. The other two classes I have can be taken while I am on the wait list. I got a renewed sense of energy when I saw that. I might see a light of taking pre-requisites classes in my vision. I am going to run to school tomorrow and talk to a counselor just to ensure I am understanding that correctly.
• Speaking of being a nurse. I would love to work at a hospital, even I don't have a nursing degree yet, working in a hospital would be something that I would love. And if I work at a hospital, they generally have a nursing program for their employees. From what I have heard from hospital employees, the nursing program wait list is usually shorter. I am not 100% sure, but the door to the medical field and getting into a hospital nursing program may be creaking open. Last week I received a phone call from a guy who used to work at my office. He called to ask me a question about something with AHCCCS, but said he had been thinking of me lately and wanted to see how I was doing. He asked me about school and remembered I was doing nursing. He proceeds to tell me that a few months ago, he was hired as the head over Admissions at Phoenix Baptist Hospital and they have a nursing program. And he also says very casually that if anyone applied for a position at the hospital, he has quite a bit of pull and could probably get them a job. Do you see where this is going? I am praying about it, thinking about having lunch with him to get questions answered. I did look at the site, they are hiring for a few things I am qualified for. But I am honestly scared about leaving my current job. We all know the economy is not good and I am very thankful I have a job. But, there is no room for advancement in my company and no raises. It's not about the money, but when the cost of living goes up every year, as well as our health insurance, it makes it difficult to live. I am afraid to leave and go to a new job where I will be the "low man on the totem pole" and I could be laid off. I am not one for change and I'm perfectly content where I am. But I also know that this could be the opportunity I need to help me advance in my education. If you think about it, could you please pray for me and this situation? I know God will provide the way, but I am scared to step out of my AHCCCS box.
• So, most people know this, but I will officially put the word out there. I am officially retiring from pet-sitting. Okay, I don't suppose I am fully retiring, but I am only keeping a few of my clients that I have had forever. I will no longer be taking any new clients/jobs. I have been doing this for 7 years and I'm tired. I can't begin to explain the miles I have put on my car in the 2 years since I have had it just from pet-sitting alone. It's difficult because of my school schedule to ensure I tend to animals as well. Almost 2 months ago, my friend was attacked by a dog. She was bitten pretty bad and I actually had to take her to the emergency room. But a few weeks ago, I was bitten as well. It was a small bite and didn't leave a mark. But it could of been worse. And after seeing everything my friend went through with the attack and the healing process and then me being bitten, it was when I decided I was done with pet-sitting. My few clients that I do have usually only need me in the summers, so I will keep them because I have pet-sit for them for 2 years or more. I have made commitments this month that I scheduled before I made this decision. I will do these jobs and then be done with it until next summer when my regulars need me. I will eventually retire all together, because when I get out on my own, I want to get a dog of my own. Then the pet-sitter will need a pet-sitter for when I go out of town.

Okay, I could write more. But I shall depart you for now. I need coffee!

Quote of the day: "Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." ~Walter Anderson

Actual update

*Gasp* What is this? Is this an actual update? I haven't wrote a "happenings in my life" post in a long time. I decided today to do my bullet points to update.

• I am in the process of moving all my blogs from Xanga to Blogger. It's taking me forever. I try to do a little every day. There are a lot of posts, that is for sure. It's literally moving four years of my life here. I just don't want to keep Xanga anymore, but I can't just delete the account. I have to move the posts first. But closing Xanga will be one less thing I have to check. It seems as though lately I have been all about simplifying my life. Closing two email accounts, starting fresh with just one. It's nice only checking one email. I deleted my Myspace account, I really wasn't using it. I have not missed it at all.
• I am in a Bible study right now with 10 wonderful women. We are studying Captivating. We just started, but I can see that we are going to be bonding and the questions are really making me think. I am enjoying it.
• I have been diligent about walking lately. I do 4 miles about three times week. Which equals 12 miles a week. The little things matter, like parking farther away than normal at a store, choosing the stairs instead of the elevator. My roomie finally bought the Wii. It's just so expensive, but it's definitely been a good investment. Everyday, I just hit 120 baseballs. I'm getting better, but it kicks my butt all over the place when I play. I get quite the workout just from swinging at the balls. I noticed yesterday that my stomach was getting smaller. Hello weight loss! So between the Wii, walking and the little things, my clothes are starting to get big on me. That makes me crazy excited.
• Although my apartment is very clean, I have officially ghetto-fied it. In the living room, we have thermal curtains. They are meant to keep the heat out. They do help, but we have a big patio door (our apartment faces the west) where a lot of heat comes in. I am in the process of putting a blanket up covering the patio door. I already put one up in my room and will work on putting the other one today or tomorrow. I don't care what it looks like, it will help to keep it cool in the apartment. It gets really hot in our living/dining room.
• I am going to take a second stab at Anatomy & Physiology in the fall semester. I need to take it again, and I need to pass the class. My friend, Philip, said he would help me get through A&P this coming semester. That's a good thing, I need all the help I can get. :)

That's all I have for today. Have a great weekend! Happy Mother's Day!

Quote of the day: "How is the life you're living NOW impacting others?" From my Captivating study guide

My big, fat D

Every semester in school, I keep track of my grades. I always have. So, I can tell you up to the minute what I'm getting in the class. This semester was no exception in my Anatomy and & Physiology class. The entire semester, I averaged about a 67%. I was hoping that at the end, my professor would have a little grace on me and bump me up to a "C". But I knew deep down, he wouldn't. A few days ago, I logged in online to check my grade for the class. And there it was....

My big, fat "D". Oh it wasn't even a little "d", it was big and even bolded. Blasted! Do you know when the last time I got a "D" in a class was? Jr. High! Memo: that was a long time ago, by the way! My grandmother was very strict with me and usually punished me if I got anything under a "B". So, she forced me to excel in classes.

I am a firm believer that the professor can make or break a class. This professor broke the class. But I can't blame the fact that I got a D in the class solely on him. I did study hard, but towards the end of the semester, I pretty much gave up. I would get the same grade whether I studied or not. I had a lot of personal things going on that really made it difficult to study as well. Either way, I'm mad at myself for the grade I received. Oh well, I will take it again after I get settled from moving. And it's like J said, I'll do better next time.

I have to finish up my Christmas shopping today. Nothing, like waiting till the last minute, huh? I don't normally shop last minute, but times have been tough and the money has not been there. I just have to get my roomie's present and what she wants is not difficult to find. I am housesitting for my friend Julie right now. Her house is all decked out for Christmas. There is Christmas in every room. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I was smiling to myself as I looked at all her decorations. As long as I stay away from the tree, it's a real one, I'll be fine. Because folks, I found out that I'm allergic to the real thing. I can be around it, just can't touch them.

On a side note: I love Jason Mraz and his music. One of my favorite songs right now is "I'm Yours". It's such a catchy tune and I find myself singing and tapping my foot every time I hear the song. Too bad I don't have anyone to sing it to. :P

I miss sleep. Sleep is a word that is no longer in my vocabulary.

Have a fantastic day!

B to tha Squared

Quote of the day: "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." ~Beverly Sills

Scripture of the day: "Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed." ~Psalm 112:1-2

Happy Wednesday!

School gets out in a few weeks. I can't wait. My Anatomy & Physiology class is BRUTAL! Oh man, seriously it's just bad. I'm opting for this to be my last semester for awhile. I know I'm close to applying for the nursing program (which is a 2 year wait list), but I'm going to take a break from school until I move. In all honesty, my mind hasn't been in school this semester. I've been dealing with some personal stuff that has really made if difficult to concentrate. So, with the class being extremely difficult and my mind not being there, it's made for a really tough semester. Probably the toughest ever.

I applied for a job at Target, to start in January. It would just be part time, but it would help me to pay off the small amount of credit card debt that I have, which by the way is under $1,000! Hopefully, I'll get hired and the discount would be sweet, sweet, sweet. I *heart* Target! I also got a phone call yesterday from a client of mine in regards to pet-sitting for 2009. She's got me lined up for 4 different jobs, starting in January. Sweet, extra money is so nice! And this dog is so good, she has never caused me any issues.

I opted not to go out on Black Friday, but did make a purchase. And it wasn't even a purchase for someone else. it was a purchase for little ol' me. I've decided that it was time to move into 2009 and get a nice phone. I called Verizon on Black Friday to get a new phone. Normally, when I get a new phone, I will just get a cheap one, but this time I decided to get a nice phone. Verizon has been enticing me to get a new phone, sending me all these catalogs, so I finally gave in. I gave into this:

*Giggle* It's really pretty. This is the LG Voyager. I was going to get the En-V, but after going to Verizon and looking at both phones, I decided that I like this one better. My doorbell rang yesterday and I looked at the cat and whispered, "It's here." I almost killed myself running down the stairs to answer the door. Even Jason was impressed with my selection on the phone. Now, if I impressed him, I did good! He's not easy to impress! I'm actually hip, welcome to 2009, Brandy.

Okay, that's all I have for now. I have to get off here and start work.

One more thing....

Who has the cutest great niece in the ENTIRE world? *Jumps up and waves both hands* Ummmm...that would totally be me. Look how CUTE!

Oh I miss that little girl. It's time for a California trip!

Have a great day!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Unknown

Scripture of the day: Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." ~John 6:35

Actual update

Well, well look at this, an actual update. I really have nothing interesting to report on, but I shall torture you anyways with BULLET POINTS. Okay, okay, I won't do bullet points today to spare my friends who are not fans.

After I left class tonight, I had an epiphany as to why I might be struggling in my Anatomy and Physiology class. Our body is a whole bunch of Chemistry. And I, my friends, have yet to take Chemistry. It's still in my list of classes to take. Even touching the basis of it, I never understood any of it. So needless to say, I'm completely lost in that class. I want to be a nurse for the whole taking care of another person aspect. I can do without the chemistry part, please. I am taking it day by day, praying I don't have to take this class again, but thinking that maybe it's best that I should. Thinking maybe I should take Chemistry next semester and then retake Anatomy and Physiology. I am going to wait till the end of the semester before I make that decision.

I caught myself looking at apartments in another state yesterday. Oh, it's too soon to be doing that! But, my heart is so ready to leave it's not even funny. Someone at work said it was in my eyes. Moving is in my eyes. Just the thought of a new adventure in my life, gets me all giddy. And for those of you who don't know where I'm going, I suppose I'll tell you eventually.

This Sunday is November 2nd. A very special day in my book. And we are celebrating in an amazing way. I shall blog about it on Sunday. :)

Are you loving the randomness so far? One more random thing.....

What is love (can be any kind of love)? Is it a feeling? An emotion? Something you can't do without? Something you could do without? Something you need to get you through your day? I ponder on love frequently. I love many things, many sounds, many smells, many places, many people. I have felt loved so much my eyes well up with happy tears. I have also felt the feeling of not being loved. I have been in love three times in my life. There have been many relationships, but three of those men captured my heart and will always have a piece of it in their hands. To write about love, I could write for pages and pages. I can sit here and say that I have loved and because of that my life has been precious. Now, you may be saying...Brandy, where is this going? It's just for you to ponder on. But back to my original question: What is love? We all may have our opinions as to what love may be, but I am choosing to sum it up in one picture. Yep, just one simple picture.

To me, this is love:

What? Did you think I was going to get all sappy on you? Come on now, that's not me. However, like I said, love is so many things to so many people. But I had this waiting for me when I got home and I immediately said, "Oh man, now this is love!" If you haven't had the Pumpkin Cheesecake flavor, I HIGHLY advise you to try it. It's enough to make me fall in love with two old guys who make LOTS of money!

And the sole reason I am on this earth, is God. He's pretty much amazing and has been rockin' my socks off everyday!

Have a great day!

Bran

*Sigh* for the quote of the day, my grandma used to say this to me. It makes me miss her.

Quote of the day: "For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." ~Rosemonde Gerard

This and that

You all know I love me some bullet points. Today, I shall provide a general update on the musings of my life.

• School is more than half way done. I've been studying every chance I get. I don't think much is sinking in. I am just taking the class day by, praying I won't have to take it again next semester.


• I am hating the fact that it's the middle of October and it's still hot outside. Gah! Can we please have cool weather? I am really missing fall right now, more than I think I ever have. Hopefully by this time next year, I'll be experiencing a real fall again.


• I talked to my niece yesterday (not the one with the baby, the other one) and told her of my plans for moving closer to her. She proceeds to tell me she's moving to Texas this January. Ah, such is life. We discussed that after the new year, we would make plans to see each other. I think a road trip to Dallas might be in order! She just turned 19 on Saturday.


• My days have all been running together, with being up at the hospital. Please pray for my aunt, Connie. I honestly don't know how much longer she's going to live. She could live for years still, but every trip to the hospital (this time, she's been there for almost two weeks) brings some new problem...this time it's her kidneys and she was put on dialysis Friday.


• While sitting at the hospital on Saturday, waiting for my aunt to get back from dialysis, the hospital called a Code Grey. Now, I know what a Code Blue is, but I didn't know what Code Grey was. But after it was called, all of these men came running down the hallway. I was determined to find out what this code meant. Code Grey is called when there is an aggressive patient who is fighting. There you have it, now you can sleep tonight.


• I just finished reading The Shack by William Young. It's a fiction book, but holy cow! Go read this book. It was an amazing book! You can find it pretty much anywhere, I promise you will NOT be disappointed. Here's the website, http://www.theshackbook.com/. It's a quick read. And it has made the list as a favorite book. It's such a good book.


• Everyone around me is sick, including roomie. I'm desperately trying not get sick.


• Sports news: Tampa Bay Rays beat out the Red Sox and are heading to the World Series. That made me extremely happy, I didn't want the Red Sox to go to the World Series. Being a Yankees fan, the goal when they are not playing, is to root for anyone playing AGAINST the Red Sox. Yay Tampa Bay! On a side note....Jason, you have turned me into a complete sports maniac! But you already knew that. And I think because the Rays beat out the one team I didn't want at the World Series, I shall root for them during this time.


• I've been asked to teach the three year olds at church once a month. Of course I'm going to do it, however the three's class is one class that is difficult. Oy vei. Those kids, give me grey hairs.

Hmmm....I think that is all I have to share with you right now.

Have a fantastic day!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." Marcel Proust

Oh my head!

So, tonight in class we started studying the bones in the skull. My teacher decided to start this at 8:20. He said himself, that the bones in the skull are the hardest to learn. So, what does he do? He decides to start talking about this 10 minutes before class got out. He honestly went through 27 pages of notes in 10 minutes.

Yeah, he covered all of that in just about 10 minutes. And that's just the skull! Granted it's different views, so some bones are repeated, but it's still a lot to study. Now, I will admit to being a geek and I study hard, get good grades, but I'm really scared I'm not going to pass this class. I don't normally complain about teachers, but this teacher is horrible. He's the worst professer I have ever had. He literally reads from his notes the entire time, doesn't have us look in the book, doesn't call on anyone. He went through this stuff so quickly, I almost started crying from the overwhelming feeling. He goes through this and says, "most of this stuff is just stuff for you to study". Excuse me? I'm not paying $700 for this ONE class for me to teach myself everything, and you teach me absolutely NOTHING. I'm really afraid I will have to take this class over. It is a lot to learn, but when your professor is not the best, it really makes the class just dreadful.

On another note about my class, there is this guy I sit next to in lab and lecture. He is constantly chewing on his pen, pencil, bottle cap. And he's my age, in his thirties. Now, as a professed germophobe, when I glance over at him and seem him chewing on his pen, my stomach turns and I want to shove a Clorox Wipe (LOVE THOSE) at him. Gah! He really grosses me out. Especially in lab. The professor always tells us to wash our hands before and after lab as well as disenfecting our work area when we come in and when we leave. Because the class before us works on actual specimans and we can't trust them to clean off the areas. Oh just the thought of him sticking anything in his mouth makes my skin crawl. *Shivers*

So, there's my fancy smancy update. :D Kristine just texted me to say I have a present coming in the mail. Hooray! *Falls off chair in excitement* I love presents, especially when they are unexpected.

Oh and one more thing, go to Jason's page and click on the second video. It got me all pumped and excited. Woot, woot! Go Blazers! www.xanga.com/jshox

And I think that's it for now, I must get back to teaching myself the bones in the skull.

I'm out like a broken lightbulb!

Quote of the day: "Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure." ~Murphy's Law

P.S. Thank you for your prayers on my previous post. I am doing better! I am feeling back to myself, which is always good. "It's all because of Jesus I'm alive..."

Pondering life

Hello everyone, a very good Thursday to you. This has been the oddest week for me. Earlier this week, I had a bit of a down day. Oh it was WAY MORE than that, but I won't go into detail about everything. But I have really been thinking about my life, my future. I am at a spot in my life where I'm needing a change of something, I just feel so blah and complacent about everything. And last night in school just made it worse. This semester I'm only taking one class for college. I have three different people tell me that if I work full time, then I should only take that class.

My class in Anatomny & Physiology, two nights a week, for 3 hours a night. And boy did I make the right decision to only take that class. It's a lot of studying. Our professor said just to get a "C" in the class, you need to study 2-3 hours a night. My gosh, I've been studying, taking notes, trying out the whole notecard system, reading the chapters...everything I'm supposed to do. And yet, I'm feeling very overwhelmed by that class and feelilng like nothing is sticking.

Last week with our test, I did pretty good on it, but did bad on the Chemistry part of the test. I passed the medical part with no problems. Last night we had a test in lab, which I wasn't sure how the test would be. But it pretty much involved looking at slides under a microscope, determining what type of tissue it was, where it was located, etc. Gah! I don't think I did good on that test at all. It was difficult. And then we started studying the bone section last night. My professor's slide show presentation is 91 slides long. He's not the greatest of professors, he's actually quite boring and literally just reads from his notes.

I walked out of class feeling overwhelmed beyond belief thinking I'm never going to get this and I will have to take this class again or that I'm just done with school. I'm really too old to be dealing with it, dealing with all these young people. I called Becky for reassurance, needing her to talk me out of the "I'm dropping out of school" thoughts I was having. There is A LOT of information to retain and my brain doesn't seem to be picking it up. And I'm honestly questioning if I can handle it. I've always wanted to be a nurse...or something in the medical field. But it's taking me forever and I just want to be done with it. People ask if I'm going to go on and get my bachelor's degree. *Clears throat* Can I work on the associates and not think about the bachelor's degree right now? And then I start to think...for me being 31 with no college degree, I'm making pretty good money at my job, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I'm so close to applying for the nursing program, yet so far away at the same time.

*Sigh*

Quote of the day: "Education aims to give you a boost up the ladder of knowledge. Too often, it just gives you a cramp on one of it's rungs." Martin H. Fischer

Pure Randomness

Hello, it's past 1 a.m., do you know where your Brandy is? I'm sitting here WIDE AWAKE watching the very first episode of Lost. See...it was my suggestion to have coffee after church, and now I'm pumped full of caffeine. But it's okay...I don't have to work tomorrow, so I don't care. So, I decided to update...with bullet points (my fave).

• I had two tests this week in Anatomy & Physiology. One wasn't too big of a test, and one was. I got a 96% on the first one and a 78% on the second. The second test had 100 questions on it and it covered four chapters. Whew! I consider a 78% pretty decent seeing at the class crammed BIO181 into two weeks of my Anatomy class, which is an introduction to Chemistry. I hate Chemistry! Gah! Anyways, Biology classes I have to take are very popular and I had to do a lottery system to register for Spring. Well luckily, I got pulled for the lottery and was able to register for Spring classes super early. Yay go me. I have a total of four classes left to take before I start doing the nursing program. I need to find out when I can actually apply for the program...to give me an idea of my future and what are the next steps to take here or somewhere else.
  
  


• Vernae and I went to a free ballet Friday night at the park. It was the first time I had seen a ballet of any kind. The school just performed three different pieces. I enjoyed it, but I think I would of enjoyed it more if there weren't so many distractions around. Since it was free, there was all kinds of people there and people kept getting up in the middle of it. I had brought my camera to take pics, but they said we couldn't take any pics due to copywrite laws. Blah, blah, blah (Seems to be my favorite phrase lately)
  
  


• Saturday was a busy, long, but fantastic day. I worked with our homeless ministry. Gosh, I really do love that, I always have so much fun interacting with our guests. Sometimes I sort things, and don't really see people very much, but even saying hello to these people brighten my day. They are so appreciative of the services we are giving them. I came home for about 3 hours and did some laundry, then turned around and went straight back to church to help with the three year olds. They are always interesting. :) I got a big hug from Kiley and her brother Kobe tonight. That pretty much made my evening. Church after that, a little different than normal...which was awesome! And after church, coffee with J. I dropped him off a little after 11 and here I am...
  


• And today...will be just as exciting I promise. I have to clean and then I have to study. Yes, folks, it doesn't get any better than that. That is my adventourous life. Rommie is gone, but will be home tomorrow. I might be spending most of the day at the library. It's just easier to study with no distractions.
  


• Today is 9/21/08, the last game at the old Yankees Stadium. *Sigh* I wish I had seen it before it was too late. I resolved to see the new stadium eventually. Since the sports fan in me has been reignited, I've really been wanting to go to a professional sports game. I am going to try that next year, hopefully it will work.

• See this little girl right here? *Sigh* I'm really missing her right now.

• So, I've pretty much made up my mind on a few things going on in my life. Wish I could tell you what they were, but I don't feel like talking about any of it now....or I suppose I could talk about it, but since so many people read this, I don't want to talk about this personal stuff on here. Meh, it's just time to move on with various things in my life and I'm perfectly okay with every decision made.

• As always...God is crazy amazing. He never, ever ceases to rock my socks off and humble me beyond belief on a constant basis. "And it's all because of Jesus I'm alive", I have been singing that song a lot lately.

• As I am finishing this...Lost is over and an informercial is coming on. You know it's time to go to bed when Mr. T is doing infomericials. He just busted through a door. Dude Mr. T looks old! And he just said "I pity the fool..." Lol! What a fantastic way to end the evening!
  

Quote of the day: "Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world." ~Anso Coetzer

Scripture of the day: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28

Pure Randomness

I'm sitting at school waiting for class to start and decided I would grace Xanga with my presence.
Today's update will be purely random and in bullet points. My favorite form, of course! And since I'm very random today, I shall put a pic with every bullet point. *Grin* Yes, I'm in that goofy of a mood.

• I realized this morning that I despise people who don't know how to drive in downtown Phoenix. For those of you who have never been there, downtown is full of one-way streets. I constantly see people going the wrong way. This morning, someone was making an attempt to turn the wrong way down a one way street and we were all honking at him. He was holding us up and when we started honking we waved his hands at us. Gosh, I hope he quickly realized it was a one way street.

• So, school has officially started. I'm only taking one class this semester, Anatomy and Physiology. I'm sure it will keep me busy though! Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30 - 8:30. I checked my professor on www.ratemyprofessor.com, and he got so-so comments. *Sigh* some students said he was really hard. We shall see. This pic by the way, is my actual book cover. Isn't is special? Sheesh, for the $ I spent on it, it should be!

• I so, so, so want some coffee right now. But I have no cash on me and I'm not about to put $1.75 on my debit card. I could go to Starbucks, but I got a prime parking spot and I'm not going anywhere. My class is right next to the most popular, yet smallest parking lot at the college. It's always a mad house and finding a spot there is like winning the lotto. Ladies and gentlemen, today I won the lotto.

• Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Paige is going to be a year old soon! I can't believe it. She's getting so big and of course, I think she's adorable. :) I talked to my niece last week, you should of heard Paige in the background. She was talking and giggling. I'm heading back the first weekend in October to celebrate her birthday. Hooray!
  

• Becky and I are hitting up Golden Spoon tomorrow. Mmmm...I *heart* Golden Spoon! They are so good. She has a BOGO coupon, which makes it all the more better. I haven't had dinner and that picture is making me HUNGRY!
  

• Notre Dame's football season starts in a few weeks! I can't wait. I love me some Notre Dame football and will be cheering them on. Aww..yeah. Let's go Irish! I can't wait for it to cool down, I can bust out my ND hoodie. *Giggle*
  

• I watched three scary movies this weekend. I would recommend two of them, but definitely not the third. I watched "30 Days of Night" (recommend), "The Ruins" (recommend). Both of these movies are pretty gory, so if you're not into gore, then don't watch them. Then we watched "Prom Night" (definitely would not recommend). I don't believe in vampires, but 30 Days of Night, FREAKED me out!
  

• I am hoping to see this guy on Thursday night. His name is Nick Vujicic. He's AMAZING. I've seen him before, but he's worth seeing again. I won't explain any more, you have to check out his website, www.lifewithoutlimbs.org.

I'm out like a broken lightblub.
And to keep with the randomness of the post, here's a quote about a quote! Hahahahaha!
Quote of the day: "Collecting quotations is an insidious, even embarrassing habit, like ragpicking or hoarding rocks or trying on other people's laundry. I got into it orginally while trying to break an addiction to candy. I kicked candy and now seem to be stuck with quotations, which are attacking my brain instead of my teeth." ~Robert Byrne

Here comes the rain

Okay, okay, now I may complain about how hot it is in Arizona, but one thing I absolutely LOVE about Arizona is our monsoon season. Last night as I was making dinner, the music cut off and the Emergency Broadcast System came on indicating that our county was under a severe thunderstorm watch. I glanced out the kitchen window and the sky to the east was pitch black and to the west I saw a dust "wall". No seriously, we get those here. Take a look...

 

About 10 minutes later, it hit the area where I was. The dust was blowing really badly and then heaven opened up and released the rain. And it rained, and rained. Not just a drizzle. It rained so hard and so much that a good portion of the streets in Mesa are flooded. Ah, I LOVE the rain. Not only does the rain cleanse everything, it dropped our temperature about 30 degrees in a matter of minutes. We went from 105 to about 70 in no time flat. That is nice, real nice.

Anyways, hmm...what's new in my world? I'm pretty boring person. I have one more house-sitting job after I get done with this one, then I'm done for the summer and I can sleep in my own bed. Oh I simply can not wait. I've already been booked for next summer. I accepted the job, but not sure if I am even going to be here next summer. Since my house-sitting jobs are almost done for the summer, the first weekend in August, I am heading out to Cali and J is possibly coming with me. I can't wait to see my niece and the baby.

School starts in about a month, oh joy. I looked up my needed books for my one class, $200 will be needed. Why is school so expensive? One class is costing about $600 for the semester. It's annoying. I seriously think about quitting, but all the money I have in student loans, I need some sort of degree in something. I did stop getting student loans and I am paying for the class and the books out of my wittle, bitty pocket. Let's see one of my goals this year was to get financially stable, and although I'm not 100% there, I'm in a way better position than I was in January. My little bit of credit card debt is almost paid off, and it feels good. Credit cards are not my friend, but I guess it would help to have one for emergencies. I’ve done without one for a few years now, but it would help to have one. Maybe eventually. I just wish I was financially stable, not constantly living paycheck to paycheck. It seems like I have always done that. And I hate it, I know it’s nobody’s fault but my own, but I just wish I could get a break. I really wanted to get Yankees tickets when they play in California this year, but I can’t find any cheap tickets and can’t afford to get the crazy expensive tickets. I need to find someone who has an “in”. Or maybe I just need to find me a sugar-daddy to take care of me. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

I’m teaching in Children’s Ministry this weekend, I’ve been out of the teaching aspect for so long, I’m actually a tad nervous about teaching. And it’s for the preschoolers, so their attention span is not very big. Good thing it’s a short lesson. Next week is Vacation Bible School at church. I look forward to that every year. I was in the 4 years olds class, but got moved into a supervisor position; I did that last year, so it should be cool. Besides I’m still supervising the Preschoolers, and they are so fun, especially for VBS. Although I’m back at Central, back into the full swing of things with serving, I still feel as though something is missing and I’m not quite sure what it is…I just feel like I need to be doing more. I am missing mission trips; I hope to go on one next summer.

Anyways, I should go and start work. Have a great day and a fantastic weekend.

Quote of the day: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Harold Whitman

Happy Friday

Well, well, Happy Friday everyone! How are you doing? I'm pretty fantastic actually. No particular reason, any day I'm breathing and serving Jesus is a fine and dandy day for me! Okay, so an update on just life in general, in my favorite way (Kaysie's too) of posting...BULLET POINTS!

• School gets out in about a week. Oh boy, is there any way I can explain to you how excited I am about this? I'm seriously excited. I took my last test in Spanish on Wednesday. The only thing I have left if is my oral and written final. I'm working on my oral presentation this weekend. I have to present it on Wednesday. I was thinking about taking a summer class just to get my last Math credit out of the way, but I'm thinking that might be a bad idea. I'm not good at Math, so an acclerated summer class might make me have a nervous breakdown. Rumor has it that my Spanish final is going to be 14 pages . Seriously, my professor is a crazy woman, sometimes we call her a Natzi. But Math will be simple, it's just a test on the last chapter we've gone over. Hooray.
  
• In case you haven't been watching the television, or you're living under a rock, baseball season has started. And the Yankees are doing good so far. I have yet to see a game, I'm kinda of a busy woman, but I get the score updates. I'm working on getting tickets for a Yankees game in California in September. I mean if I'm going to be a fan, I should at least rock my hat at a game, right? Basketball playoffs are also going on right now. I haven't really been following it, but I can tell you I've watched the Spurs beat the Suns twice and have enjoyed it. Jason and his family has so turned me "Anti-Suns". Oy vei.
  
• Recently, I've been to the doctor and although I'm not posting my current weight on here, it's apparent that I need to lose some weight, so says the doctor. Well, duh.. you think? *Stands up* In case you haven't noticed, *Points to self, turns around* I'm a thick chick...you know a gal with some serious meat on her bones. LOL. But all joking aside, I do need to lose some serious weight. I don't want to die at a young age. I am meeting Monday with a nutritionist to help me with this whole weight loss thing. The doctor said it's something that needs to be done slowly. And for encouragement, I went to Urgent Care in March and from that time to today, I've lost 6 pounds. Yeah, just got to keep it going. Doctor says to stay away from carbs or do a low carb diet. She's advising me to have surgery, the lap band surgery. Yeah, I'm not ready for that and I know most of you don't know me, but for someone my weight, I'm pretty active. You know, like walking up three flights of stairs and barely getting winded, those kind of things. I would like to try to lose it naturally first. But I need you, especially the people who actually know me, to help me through this. It's not an easy process, but encouragement is always good. :)
  
• Road trip to California, the weekend after Mother's Day. I'm so going and I'm going to recruit Kaysie(although she hasn't been informed of this yet) to see if she wants to come. My niece will have moved and I'm going to help unpack and also get some serious family time and of course...KISS on some Paigey toes.
  
• That's it for now....I could write more, but I'm so longwinded. And for everyone who gave me encouragement on my last blog (The Flame), you guys are the BEST!!!

Love you!

B to the Squared. :)

Quote of the day: "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better." Emile Coue (Oh this quote so applies to me right now, in many different areas....you might know what I'm talking about).

"If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger - we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again." Sharon Salzberg

It's Tuesday

Good morning everyone! How are you doing? I'm pretty fantastic actually. Although, I am trying to fight off a cold. It feels as though it's slowly coming. I don't want a cold, but I sometimes wish it would just hurry up and get here so I can just get it over with. Everyone around me has been sick.

I had an eventful, three day weekend. It was busy and I didn't once do homework. Yes, it's only about a month into the semester and I'm not wanting to do homework already. I spend a lot of time doing homework, no lie, probably at least 12 hours a week, so what if I took the weekend off. I only have a few assignments, which I'll do today. Saturday, I had a meeting that lasted most of the day. And then my roomie and I hit up Target and Michael's. I needed to find some blank cards to write notes on. And was excited to find them at Michael's for only $1.00. Yeah bargain! I pretty much cleaned them up. After that, we hit our favorite place, Outback. We go there every couple of weeks, we are regulars there. Sunday, I did laundry, wrote some cards, finished a letter, and then spent the rest of the afternoon with J. We were rebels on Sunday and skipped out on church because we were going to watch the Knight Rider movie. Did you guys watch it? Okay, now back in the day, I was a huge Knight Rider fan. I watched it all the time, but the 2 hour movie was a huge disappointment. Huge! It was basically a 2 hour commerical for Ford, and that's it. It totally wasn't worth missing church for. We also hit up a movie earlier in the day, we saw "Untraceable". And I thought the plot was good, but it just seemed as though the movie dragged on. Monday, I had no work or school. Thank you Mr. Presidents! I hung out with Martha, her two boys and Laurel. We went to lunch and then hit up another movie, "Alvin and the Chipmunks". It was a pretty cute kids movie. And then dinner with Jason, after dinner we just sat outside and talked for a bit. I love moments like that. Just sitting and talking with a friend, not doing anything else particular. Those moments are the most precious ones to me. Those are the times when a friendship is deepened.

We've been talking about taking another road trip and I realized I'm so itching to get out of Phoenix for a weekend. I think I'm even itching to get out of the country. But I'm scared to do that with my lovely health. So a weekend trip shall have to suffice for now. Although since I stopped serving in Children's, my immune system has gotten better. Which is good, but I miss serving with the kids. I've been thinking about serving at Poiema, just not sure what to do there. It's not like they are close, so it's kinda difficult as to what I should do. I really need to start praying about it. Serving is something I love to do, and I haven't done it since October. I just wonder what God wants me to do with my life, where he wants me to serve him best. Don't you sometimes wish God would just tell you what he wants? Ha! If it only worked like that. But in reality, he does tell you, sometimes clearly and we are just choosing not to listen. I'm finding that sometimes you just have to stop asking him for everything and let him do his work. Because what you're asking of him, might not be what he wants for you. Every day is an adventure with God, at least it is for me. He constantly shows me things, humbles me, strengthens me. And yes, there are times when I'm broke down and crying due to something going on in my life, but I'm choosing to let those things affect me. I'm constantly doubting myself, my faith, and God. But through everything, he still loves me. I'm grateful for that, but sometimes wonder why he chose me. I think we all wonder that at one point or another.

Okay, gotta go! It's time to start work!

Have a great day!

Love you, you, you, oh and especially you!

Bran

Quote of the day: "There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder." Charles Morgan

Isn't it funny how...

...One word can change the meaning of something. Down by my job is a Baptist church. Outside on their sign, it says this, : "A God blessed 2008." A God? Which to a logical person would almost mean that there is more than one God? At least that is the way I am seeing it. Why put the "A" on there? Why not just say, "God blessed 2008"? Now, I don't 100% know what Baptists believe, but I do know they worship the same God that I do. Every time I drive by that, I wonder about that sign. It would be the same way as saying, "A girl in my Spanish class." That could mean anyone, I'm not talking about anyone specific. It just bugs me when I drive by that church, it makes me want to go inside and ask them what they mean by their sign. But I shall restrain myself for the time being.

I'm so, so sleepy! Ever since school started, I haven't been able to get into a routine of going to bed before midnight. And when I have to get up at five everyday, that is no good. What happens is I come home, start doing homework and before I know it, it's midnight. I sometimes have to force myself to go to sleep at 12. Ah, such the life of a college student. I seriously just want to crawl back into my warm bed and go back to sleep. I need caffeine!

Monday is the big day....the day I shall turn 31. Where has time gone? I can't believe it's here already. And I decided a long time ago, I would not be someone who lies about their age, so there you have it, 31. However in my "Christian" years, I'm only 5 1/2. I decided a few weeks ago that I'm not going to let my age bother me, or the fact that most of the people I surround myself with are younger than me get to me. Jason loves to make fun of my age, but I know it's all in good spirits. Sunday, I'm getting together and having lunch with some of my friends to celebrate the big day. I'm past the age of wanting presents and I just want to spend time with some friends. And although I'm taking the day off on Monday, I still have to go to Spanish class later that night. My teacher is good, but doesn't put up with any excuses in regards to missing class and she doesn't let you make up any of the work. Phooey. No big plans on Monday, I am for sure hitting up Joe's Barbeque. You get a free lunch on your birthday. I'm so there, even if I might be going alone. I say this every year...I'd never thought I'd be where I am now. I thought I had accomplished more by this age, but looking back, I'm exactly where God wants me to be and that makes me happy!

Nothing else to report, except the Blazers won last night. Awww..yeah! I didn't see the game, but got the score update today. I think I shall invest in a Blazers ballcap. I've been wanting to rock a new cap and that just might be the one. Of course there is the one from Rob & Big (Have you seen that show? I LOVE IT!), with the double B's (my initials or B2 as we call it around these parts). Yeah, maybe as a present to myself, I'll get both!

Have a great day!

Bran :)

Quote of the day: "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." ~Mark Twain

It's Friday!

Anyways, how are you? I'm pretty fantastic! It's Friday and I managed to live through my first week of school. All my teachers are awesome. My Spanish teacher is really nice, but she doesn't play around like the last teacher I had. She's hard core and we have like 7 assignments due next week. I've already done a few of them. I am taking Math this semester and I honestly HATE Math. I am only taking it because it's required for my degree. But my Math teacher the is funniest teacher I think I have ever had. He's hysterical and had the entire class cracking up last night. In the middle of class, he decided to take a break because his head was hurting from doing Math. He decided to play some word games and the one who got the highest score didn't have to do the weekend homework. Fun times. I finally got my laptop back last night. It's been a month without it. Now, I can do my religions homework. I wound up buying another laptop as I was told mine isn't going to last much longer. My new laptop should be here next week. I started looking at scholarships, boy that's overwhelming and I don't have a clue where to start. Now that I have a computer at home, I can look a little deeper into what I need to do. Another foreign thing to me, I've never applied for a scholarship.

A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon. The sermon was about being a Christian. The pastor asked this question..."What are the things you need to do? What are the things you should do?" What a perplexing question, I thought to myself. I know what I need to do as far as being a Christian, which would fall into the "should do" category as well. Sadly, it isn't always like that and 7 years into my walk, I still fail in some areas of my faith. I think we all do. We can strive as much as we can to be Christlike, but the world can sometimes get the best of us. That is something that I struggle with all the time. But then I started thinking further and applying those questions to different aspects of my life. I know what I need to do with many things, many people, but what I should do is not in the same category. Gosh, why are decisions so complicated sometime? I know they are not usually complicated, I manage complicate them in one way or another. See, I'm a worrier to the max. I worry about if I do something, what the outcome would be, etc. I can make myself sick worrying about just everything. I know God takes care of things, I get that. But I still worry. It's the way I'm wired.

A few days ago, I got a message on Myspace from a person who I haven't spoken to in over a year. We used to be really good friends, but then something happened. I'm not sure, but looking back I know it was my fault. I wasn't the friend I should of been to her when she needed me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring, and got too entangled in my own life, my own problems. I am not normally like that, my close friends can tell you that. I don't know how it happened, but when it was all said and done, and too late to fix the friendship, I regretted not fighting for our friendship like I should of. Ah, definitely not being a Christian here. I honestly thought about her frequently, her kids, I missed her wedding due to everything. Now, she wants to talk. I was surprised, but happy to get the message. She's being a bigger person than me and I am ready to talk, ready to apologize for being so hurtful. Maybe God is using this situation to show me what I need to do, should do. I don't know if she'll forgive me, I won't blame her if she doesn't.

Anyways, I'm heading to Cali in a few days for a quick family visit. I so need some family time, J is coming with me. I think he needs some California time, time to relax. I have nothing big planned for our trip. My only goal is to get to the beach and love on my blood line that I actually like.

Have a great day and weekend!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Sticks and stones are hard on bones aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart." Suzanne Nichols

Imagine

Happy Wednesday everyone! Yesterday as I was stopped at a light, I saw a man standing on a street corner holding a big sign. The only thing the sign said was "Imagine". My first thought was imagine what? Then my brain started going to the lyrics from John Lennon's song, "Imagine". Many of those lyrics still apply to today's society. I wondered why he was standing there, what his sign meant, what message did he want us to know. I'm sure it had something to do with the primaries going on, but I don't really know. I thought about that sign for the rest of the night, my brain just wouldn't seem to shut off. I began to imagine what it would be like if I hadn't found God, it was quite hard. There was a huge part of my life where God was not there, at least I didn't think so. But looking back, he was, I just had no clue as to who he was. But then also imagined other things, if my grandparents were still alive, if I had never took that step to contact my mother, if I didn't have the people in my life that I have now. It's funny how one word on a sign tied up my brain last night!

Okay, I'm going to touch on an issue that can be quite controversial. Not really, but sometimes. My 31st birthday is coming up. Last year I had a big party to celebrate the big 3-0. But this year, I had decided that I was going to get a tattoo on my wrist. I've wanted one for a long time, but could never go through with it. See, I really want one. And I'm in a situation where I have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. The angel is saying, "Brandy: Leviticus 19, Leviticus 19." The devil is going, "Just do it, God won't care." The one I want to get just says, "I am HIS" with scripture under it, so it's honoring to God. After much prayer, I've decided not to do it. What really made up my mind is my little sister who admits to not walking with God for a long time, told me it was not Biblically correct. Now, if you are a Christian, and you have a tattoo, I'm not here to judge you or talk bad about you. And I'm definitely not telling you that Satan is talking to you. That's just not my style, but for me, I felt that God was telling not to do it. So, there you have it. No tattoo for me. Instead for my birthday, me and the closest people in my life are just going to have some dinner at My Big Fat Greek Restaurant.

Anyways, school is starting on Monday. I'm kinda excited to get back into the whole school thing again, but I am scared as well. I'm such a perfectionist, I want to excel at school, but that doesn't always happen. I took on an extra class this semester, putting me at 10 credit hours, 2 credit hours from being full time. I should of just taken on another class, but I can't. The classes I need to take are difficult ones and I wouldn't of been able to focus on them. I'm going into my 4th semester of Spanish, I feel like I should be fluent by now. I am still learning though. When my coworkers speak Spanish to me, I feel as though I don't understand anything. They tell me that I understand a lot more than I think. Someone said I was crazy for taking on so much and there went my social life. My social life gone? Not really. As busy as I get, I always make time for friends.

My goal for the fall semester is to get a scholarship, stop the student loans and start paying them down. It's 9 days into the new year and my resolution of getting the finances in order is still going. As of right now, all my bills are paid up: cable, Verizon, credit cards, insurance, car payment, and even $400 worth of school books purchased. Everything is current, which is such a nice feeling to have. It's rarely that everything is completely paid up and there is still money in the bank! I've gotten my credit report and I'm working on clearing up some things on there. I've just been stupid with my money and in the end, it has affected my credit score. That is nobody's fault but my own and now I'm paying for it literally. I'm in the process of trying to save to buy a new laptop, which I could do now. I'm waiting to see if mine can get fixed as I don't want to completely drain my small savings.

Anyways, have a fantastic day!

Love,

Bran

Quote of the day: "Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost part of your life." ~Michael Leboeuf

Christmas is coming!

Happy Wednesday everyone! I can't believe Christmas is less than a week away. Are you ready yet? I still need to bake some more cookies, but I finished shopping last night. I only bought for a few people. I was up in Scottsdale last night shopping and saw a Carter's Childrenswear store. Ah, the memories. I worked there when I lived in Vegas for quite some time. I went in and found Paige some clothes. I don't know when she's going to get them, but soon. Maybe for my birthday I'll take a trip out there again. My roomie is leaving for MA tomorrow. This is the first time in 4 years we won't be opening gifts on Christmas Day. Meh, no biggie. We are going to celebrate when she gets home. I'm spending an hour with my family (that's about all I can take) and then spending the rest of the day with Jason and his family. I'm thankful to be going over there. Usually I'll spend Christmas with someone, but there are usually a lot of people wherever I am and I get lost in the crowd of unknown people. But, the Dewey's have made me feel very comfortable every time I've gone over there. So, Christmas will be wonderful this year. Sitting in church on Sunday, the pastor was saying that Christmas is usually a hard time for people (Stands up and raises hand), but he made a point to say Christmas is about God and his glory. Ah, yes. I knew that, I really did. But sometimes I get so lost in my thoughts about my family that I forget it. It's always good to have it told to me again.

So, why is school so expensive? Why? My gosh! Between tuition and books, school is $1000 this coming semester. Oy vei. What do I look like? Someone who has a lot of money? It's just frusterating to see the student loans rack up and feel like I'm getting NOWHERE. I sometimes think about just quitting and work on paying down the student loans, but I have to keep going. I sometimes think about stopping the student loans, and paying for everything myself and the loans as well. But I definitely can't afford that right now. I know I have to look at the end goal in sight: I'll eventually be a nurse who is bilingual. But, I'm going to be 90 when I do finally graduate with $40K in student loans. Why the rant might you ask? I looked up to see how much my books were yesterday, $400 for three classes. One good thing is my car accident has finally been settled! Hooray! I unexpectedly got a check for $500 a few days ago. Oh yeah! I put half of it in my savings account, need to start saving some $.

One final note, please pray for my friend Kristine. She is a cheerleading coach and found out yesterday that one of her girls passed away unexpectedly on Monday night. The girl was either 16 or 17. Such a horrible thing to happen, especially now. Pray to give her strength to help minister to the rest of the squad, pray for the girls, and definitely pray for the family.

Anyways, I have more to report on, but shall save it for another day.

Have a great day!

Love,

Bran

Quote of the day: "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. " ~Attributed to both Andy McIntyre and Derek Bok