Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's Friday!

Anyways, how are you? I'm pretty fantastic! It's Friday and I managed to live through my first week of school. All my teachers are awesome. My Spanish teacher is really nice, but she doesn't play around like the last teacher I had. She's hard core and we have like 7 assignments due next week. I've already done a few of them. I am taking Math this semester and I honestly HATE Math. I am only taking it because it's required for my degree. But my Math teacher the is funniest teacher I think I have ever had. He's hysterical and had the entire class cracking up last night. In the middle of class, he decided to take a break because his head was hurting from doing Math. He decided to play some word games and the one who got the highest score didn't have to do the weekend homework. Fun times. I finally got my laptop back last night. It's been a month without it. Now, I can do my religions homework. I wound up buying another laptop as I was told mine isn't going to last much longer. My new laptop should be here next week. I started looking at scholarships, boy that's overwhelming and I don't have a clue where to start. Now that I have a computer at home, I can look a little deeper into what I need to do. Another foreign thing to me, I've never applied for a scholarship.

A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon. The sermon was about being a Christian. The pastor asked this question..."What are the things you need to do? What are the things you should do?" What a perplexing question, I thought to myself. I know what I need to do as far as being a Christian, which would fall into the "should do" category as well. Sadly, it isn't always like that and 7 years into my walk, I still fail in some areas of my faith. I think we all do. We can strive as much as we can to be Christlike, but the world can sometimes get the best of us. That is something that I struggle with all the time. But then I started thinking further and applying those questions to different aspects of my life. I know what I need to do with many things, many people, but what I should do is not in the same category. Gosh, why are decisions so complicated sometime? I know they are not usually complicated, I manage complicate them in one way or another. See, I'm a worrier to the max. I worry about if I do something, what the outcome would be, etc. I can make myself sick worrying about just everything. I know God takes care of things, I get that. But I still worry. It's the way I'm wired.

A few days ago, I got a message on Myspace from a person who I haven't spoken to in over a year. We used to be really good friends, but then something happened. I'm not sure, but looking back I know it was my fault. I wasn't the friend I should of been to her when she needed me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring, and got too entangled in my own life, my own problems. I am not normally like that, my close friends can tell you that. I don't know how it happened, but when it was all said and done, and too late to fix the friendship, I regretted not fighting for our friendship like I should of. Ah, definitely not being a Christian here. I honestly thought about her frequently, her kids, I missed her wedding due to everything. Now, she wants to talk. I was surprised, but happy to get the message. She's being a bigger person than me and I am ready to talk, ready to apologize for being so hurtful. Maybe God is using this situation to show me what I need to do, should do. I don't know if she'll forgive me, I won't blame her if she doesn't.

Anyways, I'm heading to Cali in a few days for a quick family visit. I so need some family time, J is coming with me. I think he needs some California time, time to relax. I have nothing big planned for our trip. My only goal is to get to the beach and love on my blood line that I actually like.

Have a great day and weekend!


Quote of the day: "Sticks and stones are hard on bones aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart." Suzanne Nichols

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