Crossing Paths

Every year, people come into my life. It's not something that happens just in January, where it's POOF, all of a sudden there is all these new people in your life. It's something that happens gradually. Some of these people go, and some of them decide to stay. Some of them are literally just passing through. I've really been pondering the people who have been put in my life this year. It's not a bad pondering, but pondering nonetheless.

One person has been in my life for awhile, but we were never close friends. But through a horrible tragedy, we've become closer friends. It may seem strange, but the tragedy was a blessing in disguise because God was knitting the bonds of friendship, I think much needed for both of us. Another person came into my life through borrowing one of my college textbooks. We have a lot in common and I so enjoy our times together. Both of these new friendships mean a lot to me and both bring so much to the table of life.

Do you ever stop to think why God brings you and other people together? What is his plan for it all? Do you ever look back at the starting of a friendship and think, "Wow, I'm so glad that person stuck around"? I've been doing that a lot lately. I'm thankful for those people and that I took the time, invested in them personally, to find out who they really are and let them find out who I really am.

Opening up to people has been a new concept for me this year. I have very few close friends in my world. These people know everything about me. But, for so long, I would shut everyone out. They never really got to know the real Brandy. I honestly just didn't feel like it was your business to know the inner most workings of this heart of mine. It was making me miserable in the process. But this year, after a depression bout in February, I vowed I would start letting people in my life again and understand that not everyone will ruin my trust. And so, that's what I've been doing, intentionally putting my heart on my sleeve and branching off to new friendships/relationships. It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be. I am learning to love people where they are in their life currently and letting them love me as well. My life has become more enriched, more joyful, more purposeful, & more loving.

The two people mentioned aren't the only people that has come into my life this year, but they are the ones who stick out the most. I'm greatly blessed by each of them.


"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, What! You too? I thought I was the only one!" ~C.S. Lewis

When you need me...

...I will be there. I value my friends very much, but the close ones are the ones I value the most. These are the people I would do anything for, no matter what they need. If a friend said they needed me, I would drop what I'm doing to be there for them. Because in reality, if I said that to one of them, they would do the same thing. And that is what friends are about, loving each other despite of our faults, be there for each other when we are reaching out for help. Yesterday, I had a friend who was text messaging me. She was at her wit's end. I talk to her every day, and we try to see each other often, but sometimes our schedules get busy and we don't see each other. But when she texts me and you can read the need for a friend in her text message, I knew she needed some girlfriend time. I made a split decision to cancel the plans I had with another dear friend to be there for this friend who was on the verge of a breakdown. I picked her up at her house and promised a night of calories. We went to Coldstone. We both had horribly good creations (Cake Batter FTW!) that our hips most certainly did not need, waffle bowls included. But we sat there eating our pieces of heaven and just talked. I love moments like those where you are with a best friend and you can be so vulnerable with someone and not have to worry about anything. I said something totally ditzy (which is totally me by the way), which made us both laugh hysterically. And even though, I said something off the wall, we both needed the laugh. Laughter, great friends, Coldstone, and deep conversations. It really does not get any better than that. *Green girly sheep*

I've started applying for jobs in Portland. Sadly with the economy, I have only applied for one. They really don't have a lot of jobs available. I will just have to faithfully keep checking the websites on a weekly basis. I applied for the Medicaid program in Oregon. I figured I might as well try there since I'm qualified for the position. They aren't really hiring right now, though. It's just an open continuous position that is posted, which means they are collecting applications until they have a vacancy. This week, I'm applying for the Housing Authority. I have to fax the application and resume on Thursday. I've bookmarked numerous sites, spent a good three hours on the web looking at jobs, only came up with the Housing Authority job. I'm trying to stay with the government. I am willing to change agencies in the government, even go from state to county, etc. But the jobs just aren't there. There are a lot of positions for nurses, but of course that's not me. I shall continue my search.

Hey, the economy is tight right now and I've become an absolute frugal gal all of a sudden. Here are some sites I found that list deals and some freebie stuff. I have been meaning to put this stuff into a blog forever, just haven't had the time.

1. I have found that if you go to a website of a brand you like (clothes, food, restaurants, grocery stores, etc) and sign up for their newsletter, they will sometimes send you coupons on the things you love. :) If you don't want your email box cluttered with all the mail, then simply open up another email account for the newsletters.

2. I had so much free food coupons for my birthday, I didn't know what to do with myself. The great thing about this, is companies will usually send your birthday coupon about a week before your big day and they usually expire a week after your birthday. Go to Google and type in "free stuff birthday".

3. Frugal Coupon Mom is a site I just discovered yesterday on Dr. Phil. She lists different coupons for sites, secret sales, etc. She has a Feedburner and you can easily subscribe and have the deals delivered right to your email.

4. Hey It's Free! is another site. Seriously, free stuff is the best way to go. They also have a place to sign up for newsletter.

4. The Bargainist is a discounted site that list various companies with deals. Newletter link provided as well!

5. Cheap Stingy Bargains is another great site. I get all these emails sent to me and I thoroughly enjoy reading them and taking advantage of deals when I can. You can sign up there as well. I'm more for the newsletters, if I have to actually come to the site, I will forget.

6. Freecyle is a good site to obtain free stuff. You can find stuff or post stuff to give away. Everything is free, you can not sell stuff here. However, sometimes you find something someone is giving away that is in pretty decent condition. I haven't gotten anything off of here, but I have tried. I'm not usually quick enough to respond.

7. If you receive the Sunday paper, then be sure to look in the A&E section. Every once in awhile they will advertise movie tickets free or other events. Like, I got free tickets to the Desert Botantical Gardens once. Just by looking in the section and seeing the ad.

8. If you don't mind getting some text messages, some restaurants are now sending you free things via text messages. You can find the information usually on the receipt or on the counter.

Okay, I must depart you now.

Ciao!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can." ~Wesley

P.S. Thank you for all of your comments on my last post. Seriously, I'm ever grateful to you that I opened up my soul, just a small smidge, and you all made me feel loved. :D

Can you see inside my soul?

If you are a reader of this blog, you see my thoughts, my struggles, and my joys. Many of you may think I'm very open about my life as expressed through writing here. However, I'm very open about somethings, but there are so many things I don't discuss on this blog. And in all reality, I'm a very private person. And I really don't let a lot of people into the window of my soul. The reason behind this my trust has been broken many times and trust is a very big thing to me. Once my trust has been broken, I will never let a person back into that "trust circle" that I hold on to so tightly. I just don't open up to people, I don't let them in.

I have a lot of friends, but there are six people in my life, that have peeked into my soul and decided they wanted to hang around me for awhile for reasons I sometimes don't understand. These people continue to love me when I can find no reason to love myself. They shine God's light to me when I'm stuck in a world of darkness.

These people are the ones who know me best...know me better than I know myself. These are the people who I am 100% transparent with. Those lucky six are the ones who see my brokenness more than anyone, more than I want them to sometimes, but they know me, they get me, they get my heart. I looked up the definition of transparent and this is what I found:

• Easily seen through, recognized, or detected.
  
  
• Manifest, obvious
  
  
• Open, frank, candid

A few posts ago, I wrote about wanting to know the truth. While I was writing that post, the thought occurred to me that there is something in my past that these six people don't know about. It's not a repressed memory, but it's also not something that comes up in conversation nor something I want to recall. For some reason, one friend popped into my head first about not knowing this one thing about me and the thought occurred to me that I needed to tell this person. God really put them on my heart about the fact I'm not being transparent enough. I was really thinking about who knew this and I think the only one is Heather, my oldest friend from Indiana.

Heather is wanting me to write a book about my life because she's known me forever and said people would be impressed with my life and how God brought me through it all. I've thought about, heck even started it, but I'm struggling with it. I'm struggling with the book forcing me to be transparent, people looking to peer into my soul, the soul that not many people are allowed into. It's providing itself quite difficult for me.

I'm probably going to ruffle some feathers here by putting names down, but I honestly don't care. These are the ones God has blessed me with, the ones that encourage me, love me, pick me up when I've fallen, hold me accountable in my life and my faith. And for that, I can't ever thank them enough.

• Heather, my oldest friend, we've been friends for 23 years now. We've been through everything together. Not matter how long we go without talking, it's like we've missed no time at all.
  
  
• Martha, next oldest friend, going on 10 years now. She keeps me grounded and when I was being stupid and walked away from our friendship (due to my fault), she took my friendship back...no questions asked.
  
  
• Becky, if I am down, she will insist on coffee or ice cream to cheer me up. And if I refuse, she shows up at my house with a big hug and ice cream.
  
  
• Kristine, my chica, it's funny how 10 days in Chile together, changed our lives forever. She randomly sends text messages telling me how she loves me. Funny, how they are sent right when I need them.
  
  
• Julie, I don't ever need to tell her something is wrong, she senses it and will call me out of the blue to make sure I'm okay. I try to tell her I'm okay, and she insists she knows something is wrong...she's always right.
  
  
• Jason, I've never had a friendship with a man where are as close as we are. And when I need him, no matter what, he will be there...even if that means taking the day off from work to cheer me up and making sure I have somewhere to go for the holidays. And even though I'm 7 years older than him, in many aspects, he has become my big brother.

I know I tell you guys this all the time, but you all have a big piece of my heart. I love you guys more than I can ever express.

Quote of the day: "One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one would ever come to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on the way." ~Vincent Van Gogh

Friends

I am pretty biased, but I have the greatest friends in the world. I have a lot of surface friends, but a handful of very, very close ones. You know when you're just having a down day, week, month, or whatever...and you honestly and truely think you can't go on another day? I had that this weekend. A friend saw the need, meet the need and made sure to get me out of this funk. And the funk is gone. And for that person taking time out of their day to cheer me up, encourage me beyond belief...I cannot say thank you enough. As I recently stated, I don't tell you enough how grateful I am to have you in my life.

Seriously...

Forever grateful to you, immensely blessed beyond belief by your friendship.

You know who you are....just wanted to put this for EVERYONE to see.

Take note...this is probably the world's shortest blog I have EVER written.

Hello Firemen

Although I was at church last night, I didn't make it to service at all. My plans were to attend the 6:30 with Vernae and Rachel like I always do. Well...a friend, Vernae, needed me more than I needed to go to church. Although she managed to get upstairs in the elevator, it broke shortly after and she wasn't able to get downstairs to come to church. At about 6:15, I began to worry where she might be. I found someone in Children's Ministry who proceeded to tell me the elevator was broken and she was stuck upstairs. My first comment out of my mouth was, "She's not stuck in the elevator is she?" She wasn't. Whew! I go upstairs and the maintenance guys are trying to figure out what to do, how to get her and her chair down. I ran down and got the police officers that were on campus. They came up with me and they immediately called the fire department. In that time Rachel came up as well. Probably about 10 of the HOTTEST firemen in Mesa came into help her. Rachel and I wanted to start being sick so we can get assistance as well. All joking aside, they were really helpful and it makes me extremely grateful fire/police/medics exist. They took her out of her wheelchair, put her in a folding chair with me and Rachel sitting next to her, then proceeded to carry her 400 lb. chair downstairs, 5 minutes later they came back up and got her and in a matter of no time she was safe on the ground. I'm so thankful that Rachel and I were both there, I wouldn't of wanted Vernae to experience that evening alone. Afterwards we just sat and loved on her outside of church, she needed us as that moment more than anything. Some thoughts came into her head and caused her to be upset.

I had a very random encounter last night as Vernae as getting on the bus. I was talking to a friend, when an old friend came up. He's the one I was referring to in my "Be the bigger person" blog. He came up and hugged me, which was weird, but good. We hung out last night, and although we didn't talk about anything I referred to in the blog (we had other people with us), somehow I knew everything was going to be okay with him.

I am honestly still struggling with being back at Central. I am trying to remember that it's not about me, it's about God, soley about God. I feel as though I don't have a purpose there anymore, but yet I feel as though God is not finished with me yet at Central. And I feel as though I'm wandering around that campus like a very lost person. Time has changed, things have changed, people have changed. It's my church that I've known for so long, yet it's not the same church at all. I came to help at the preschool ministry but they were fully staffed at the 4:30 service. I decided to just sit outside and do some Bible reading. Gosh, I really love Hebrews, it's my favorite book. I've read it so many times. God was really showing me some things on Saturday. A staff member's husband who I have known for years came up to me. They are older (maybe in their 60's), but I just have the highest respect for him. God pushed him in my direction yesterday, gave him the words I needed to hear. He sat and talked with me for about 20 minutes. We said our friendly hellos and then he said, "How are you, Brandy? You know I used to see you all the time, then I didn't see you at all, now I see you some, but not as much as I used to." I confessed to him that I had left the church for 8 months and God had brought me back and the things I was still struggling with. He confessed he struggled with the same thing. "Are you happy, Brandy?" My response was, "Yes for the most part. I just feel so lost here sometimes." I could feel the tears coming, one came trickling down my cheek, but forced them to stop. I can't cry in front of someone, especially him. He said he understood and if it made any difference he said he missed my smiling face on campus and I always brightened his day. He said he could see the love I have for God on my face, in my smile. If you can see it on my face....why can't I feel it? I love God, I really do. I try my hardest to keep on track with him, but it's the hardest thing I encounter in my life.

For the most part, I surround myself with people who encourage me in my faith, but there's that one person, who does not walk with God. I see her more than anyone, and she makes it difficult for me to keep my light going. A few days ago, I got some food for a homeless woman. No biggie, I do that all the time. I always say, "God Bless You". They usually say thanks and take the food. Not this woman...she was different. She followed me back across the street and began to tell me her story and how she needed money. I explained to her that I don't give out money, but I will gladly feed people like I just did. I then explained to her irregardless of her circumstances, God still loved her, always loved her, no matter what. She broke down crying and said she knew that, but just needed to hear it. We talked for a little longer, then I left. As I drove off, I became really convicted of my actions. Why didn't I pray with her? Why? She was obviously reaching out to me. But...two things crossed my mind as I was talking to her, one is what would people think if they saw me praying with her? Why did I let myself get caught up in the world and lose focus on God? Because that is what happened. Also, there was another homeless guy across the street, who was making his way over to me. For a brief moment, I felt that my safety was in danger. Gosh, Bran, could you be any more caught up in "worldly" things? I could of fed him as well, and prayed with both of them. But I didn't, I was too caught up in my own thoughts and for that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, that night I failed at being a Christian. I may have been the only encounter those people had to show God's love and I completely blew it. I cried myself to sleep that night, begging for forgiveness. I hate disappointing God more than anything.

"At the cross you beckon me, draw me gently to my knees, and I'm so lost for words, so in love, sweetly broken, wholly surrendered."

Looking up

Man, this has just been a hard week, a crazy week...a bad week. On my last post, one of my friends had lost their baby. That was just the start of the week. They really have been on my heart this week. I don't know what to do, how to help them. My heart is aching for them, so bad.

Anytime my phone rings and it's a family member, if it's before 8 a.m., you can guarantee that it's bad news. Only because my family does not call me early. On Friday, my phone rang at 6 a.m. It was one aunt, calling to tell me another aunt had passed away. It was unexpected, she died in her sleep. I hadn't talked to this aunt in awhile, it was still upsetting. I began the process of getting a hold of my father. When he finally answered, it broke my heart to hear him upset when I told him. I won't be able to attend the funeral, it's too crazy expensive to even take a Greyhound Bus right now.

Okay, so two bad things....then I get a phone call from a coworker of mine. The results of her mammogram has come back showing something....a tumor. Possibly cancer. Seriously? I honestly didn't think I could handle anymore. I told Jason I was so ready to the week to be OVER. And I'm not usually like that.

I called Becky, and although we didn't have plans last night, she came over to visit. She said it just sounded like I needed a friend. You would think she would be sick of me after spending 4 full days with me last weekend. Nope. Oh man, see? That is why she's one of the "in" people. I wasn't expecting her to come over, but she did. She saw a need and met it. Granted none of these things that happened this week happened to me, but everything had affected my mood this week, causing me to be down.

Today, as I opened my eyes to watch the sunrise, I was reminded of the fact that Saturday was a new day, a fresh day, a day that God promises to be faithful, no matter what happens. I was also encouraged today by the fact that I have such awesome friends. Becky, Kristine, and Jason encouraged me and ultimately cheered me up. *Sniff, sniff* I love you three very much. You all have a piece of my heart. My life is completely enriched by your friendship. And again tonight, I was encouraged by the love of God when I watched Adam and Valerie get married.

Sweet diggity dog, God is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Have a great day!

"A friend is the only person you will let into the house

when you are turning out drawers." ~Pam Brown

Happy Pre-Super Bowl

Happy Saturday everyone! How are you doing? I'm doing pretty fantastic. I just got home from a meeting with Tres Dias. That is that retreat where I'm speaking in April. I had to give my lesson today for critique. Oh man. I was doing okay, until I stepped up to the podium. Then I starting getting really nervous, my hands were sweating, and my left leg was shaking so bad. I was scared! In my lesson I talked about how people have deepened my relationship with Christ and what I'm doing about it. I'm a private person, very few people actually know me, the real me, good and bad. Today, I had to give these women a snippet of who I am. Oh man, that was the hardest thing to do and that is why my legs were shaking so bad. But, it's over and I received a lot of extremely positive feedback. Whew! Now, I just have to give it for the actual weekend, which is the first weekend in April. It will be here soon.

So, tomorrow is the Super Bowl here in AZ. Are you planning on watching it? Who are you rooting for? I'm probably not going to watch it, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I like Notre Dame football, but can't really get into football any other time. Not only is the Super Bowl here, but so is the FBR Open (some huge golf thing) and Glendale moved their "I Love Chocolate" Festival to this weekend as well. Hello revenue! It just seems as though everything is crazy busy now. Even here in the East Valley, many miles away from where the Super Bowl is being held, I just feel as though everything is busy. My Super Bowl Sunday is going to consist of doing homework, taking Jason's mom out for her birthday and then church with Jason. No time for football. Oh darn. But recently, I have been watching basketball. Back in the day, I totally used to be a huge basketball fan. I was all over the Chicago Bulls, I watched them all the time. But I kinda got out of it when I moved out of Indiana. But recently, I have been watching it again. The only time I see it is when I'm at J's house and we are watching the Portland Trailblazers. He said he was determined to make me a fan. And even though I don't watch many of the games, I find myself checking their schedule to see when and who they are playing next. So, I believe slowly, the basketball fan is coming alive in me. Ah, J, you should be so proud. He wants to make me a Yankees fan as well, we shall see. Lol, that might make it a tad bit more difficult as my roomie is a Red Sox fan. They are enemies. But, my opinion on her take on sports shall be saved for another day.

Oh yes, before I go. Remember a few weeks ago, I was meeting with a friend I haven't spoken to in over a year? We talked, before she got to say anything, I started apologizing for my actions, apologizing for not being the friend to her I should of been. I prayed to God she would forgive me, that we could move past everything that had happened. She found it in her heart to forgive me. We are going to Macayo's for some Mexican Food in a little bit. I'm thankful she forgave me, I feel humbled by God it happened the way it did. Awed once again by his greatness.

I'm off to dinner! Have a great day!

Bran

Quote of the day: "A strong woman is not one that never falls, but one who gets up after falling." ~Unknown

It's Friday!

Anyways, how are you? I'm pretty fantastic! It's Friday and I managed to live through my first week of school. All my teachers are awesome. My Spanish teacher is really nice, but she doesn't play around like the last teacher I had. She's hard core and we have like 7 assignments due next week. I've already done a few of them. I am taking Math this semester and I honestly HATE Math. I am only taking it because it's required for my degree. But my Math teacher the is funniest teacher I think I have ever had. He's hysterical and had the entire class cracking up last night. In the middle of class, he decided to take a break because his head was hurting from doing Math. He decided to play some word games and the one who got the highest score didn't have to do the weekend homework. Fun times. I finally got my laptop back last night. It's been a month without it. Now, I can do my religions homework. I wound up buying another laptop as I was told mine isn't going to last much longer. My new laptop should be here next week. I started looking at scholarships, boy that's overwhelming and I don't have a clue where to start. Now that I have a computer at home, I can look a little deeper into what I need to do. Another foreign thing to me, I've never applied for a scholarship.

A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon. The sermon was about being a Christian. The pastor asked this question..."What are the things you need to do? What are the things you should do?" What a perplexing question, I thought to myself. I know what I need to do as far as being a Christian, which would fall into the "should do" category as well. Sadly, it isn't always like that and 7 years into my walk, I still fail in some areas of my faith. I think we all do. We can strive as much as we can to be Christlike, but the world can sometimes get the best of us. That is something that I struggle with all the time. But then I started thinking further and applying those questions to different aspects of my life. I know what I need to do with many things, many people, but what I should do is not in the same category. Gosh, why are decisions so complicated sometime? I know they are not usually complicated, I manage complicate them in one way or another. See, I'm a worrier to the max. I worry about if I do something, what the outcome would be, etc. I can make myself sick worrying about just everything. I know God takes care of things, I get that. But I still worry. It's the way I'm wired.

A few days ago, I got a message on Myspace from a person who I haven't spoken to in over a year. We used to be really good friends, but then something happened. I'm not sure, but looking back I know it was my fault. I wasn't the friend I should of been to her when she needed me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring, and got too entangled in my own life, my own problems. I am not normally like that, my close friends can tell you that. I don't know how it happened, but when it was all said and done, and too late to fix the friendship, I regretted not fighting for our friendship like I should of. Ah, definitely not being a Christian here. I honestly thought about her frequently, her kids, I missed her wedding due to everything. Now, she wants to talk. I was surprised, but happy to get the message. She's being a bigger person than me and I am ready to talk, ready to apologize for being so hurtful. Maybe God is using this situation to show me what I need to do, should do. I don't know if she'll forgive me, I won't blame her if she doesn't.

Anyways, I'm heading to Cali in a few days for a quick family visit. I so need some family time, J is coming with me. I think he needs some California time, time to relax. I have nothing big planned for our trip. My only goal is to get to the beach and love on my blood line that I actually like.

Have a great day and weekend!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Sticks and stones are hard on bones aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart." Suzanne Nichols

Periods and question marks

I was having a conversation back in March about friends in our life. There are some friends who are question marks. Are you they truly friends with you? Would they be there if I needed them? Etc. And then there are friends in your life who are periods. They will always be there for you no matter what, period. Lately I've been thinking about relationships in my life. There are a handful who I consider period marks, there are quite a few which I consider question marks. There are some I've decided to let go of for one reason or another. Lately, I've been close guarding this heart of mine, determined to not let anybody else in at all. If you're in there (and you know who you are, the period marks), then you're good. But people think they are in there, but they aren't, probably won't ever be. You're kept at an arm's distance, you just can't see it when I have my arms up. Relationships can be the most wonderful thing, or they can be the most complicated thing. Some relationships are mixed with good and bad. Yeah, so I don't know what's with the mushy stuff today. It's been on my mind for awhile, just haven't had time for a real blog due to school. I went to sleep thinking about it last night, and when I was awakened by the sound and lights of a fire truck blasting through my complex, it was still on my mind, I guess because we talked a little about this last night.

December 12th is my last day of school for the semester. Can I get an Amen? Oh man, I'm due for a break, really I am. This semester has been hard. It's just because the difficulty of the classes. Psychology isn't difficult, but there is a lot of homework! Spanish is difficult, yet easy. I guess it's difficult because the teacher speaks 95% in Spanish. He teaches us, and rarely speaks English. He says by this time, third semester of Spanish, we should understand everything. So, next semester starts 1/14/08. I will be taking Spanish 202, Math, and a World Religions class. Wish me luck. My Spanish teacher is also teaching 202, and he's also my nursing advisor, and he's going to direct me where to go after I have taken all the Spanish classes I can at MCC. I will need to go to ASU, he said he would draft me up what I would need to take. By the way, have I mentioned that I'm majoring in Nursing and MINORING in Spanish? Yeppers, I'm going to minor in Spanish, so I will be taking a lot more classes. *Sigh* I will be 90 by the time I get my degree.

I am heading to Cali for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see that great niece of mine. I'm itching to love on her and kiss her cheeks and baby feet. Oh I simply can't wait. *Giggle*

Ah well..

Hey, have a great day!

Love,

San An (a shortened new nickname)

Quote of the day: "Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things..." ~Unknown

Quotage

Howdy everyone! How are you doing? I'm simply fantastic! Life is good and God is great! Everyone knows I love me some quotes. Here are some quotes that I decided to share:

• "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~Charles Dickens
  
  
• "Love God and trust your feelings. Be loyal to them. Don't betray them." ~Robert C. Pollock
  
• 
  
  "I myself do nothing. The Holy Spirit accomplishes all through me." ~William Blake
  
  
• "You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." ~Woodrow Wilson
  
• "Every path may lead you to God, even the weird ones. Most of us are on a journey. We're looking for something, though we're not always sure what that is. The way is foggy much of the time. I suggest you slow down and follow some of the side roads that appear suddenly in the mist." ~Real Live Preacher
  
• "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." ~David Viscott

There are many, many more. I could fill up pages and pages of quotes! But, I won't. So, I've been watching the news lately about Michael Vick. He is the NFL football player who is on trial for "Dog fighting". While I was watching the news, they showed a video of the dogs actually fighting. It was horrifying to watch. I can't actually believe that people breed these poor dogs to be mean. The dogs fight to the death, most times, literally. After the fight was over, one of the dogs just layed there convulsing. It really brought tears to my eyes. I've heard a lot of stories about people who breed dogs to fight, some of the dogs are not considered "fight" dogs and they are severely neglected or killed immediately. Vick pleaded "not guilty", his trial isn't until November 26th. Animal rights activists has been striking outside the courthouse and where the Falcons play. I'm definitely going to keep up on this story, to see how it turns out. I wonder if the trial will be aired on CourtTV. Although, I'm not sure I could stomach to watch it.

Sometimes, I just sit back and realize how blessed I am by people in my life. I'm so biased, but I have the greatest friends in the entire world. I know God has placed them in my life for a reason. I've had many friends who have come and go, but there has been a select few that, for some reason, has decided to stick around. These are my closest friends, who know all kinds of things about me. I constantly screw up, question my faith, hop on cloud 9 over some man, fall off that same cloud, complain about a good portion of my family members, let someone get the best of me when I should of know better, etc. When fall or fail, my friends are there to pick me up, steady me to make sure I'm balanced, and force me to walk again. I honestly don't trust a lot of people, don't take it personal. I've had many times when my trust has been broken and now my heart has become hardened to many people. And if for that one moment, I decide to trust you and the trust is broken, I turn my feelings "off" to that person. I will be your friend, but at a distance. I won't forget that instance where you broke my trust and I won't let you back in. The ones who have proved themselves faithful, these are the friends I know will grow old with me, these are the ones I invest the most time with. Recently I had to review some of my relationships and decided to let some go. I really don't have the want to invest a friendship with you if you don't want to do the same. That's all there is to it. People who I thought were a good friend, I'm now seeing that they're not. And recently, there are two people I never thought would be a close friend, are amazing me everyday by their friendship and love. You know who you are, I've recently expressed my gratitude to both of them.

So, that is all I have to report on today. Just some thoughts going on in my head.

Bran

This is the week

Good morning! Happy Monday! How is everyone? I'm fantastic, as usual. It looks a bit cloudy outside and it just might rain. *Grin* I'm so ready for some rain today.

Next week, my job is sponsoring a food drive for Salvation Army. We do it every year and we use it as a competition for each office. Every day will be a specified food day, like Monday might be a "tuna day". We can bring in anything we want, but if you bring tuna on Monday, then you get extra points. I am on the committee that plans the food drive, and something that really is bothering me is that Salvation Army requested that we do not give any Top Raman at all. Okay, I'm sorry, first off, Raman is cheap! And can buy excess of it for a very small amount of money. And I don't think that Salvation Army should be complaining about the food they receive, but be thankful for everything. I guess last year, they got a lot of Raman. I can see both sides of the story, but it just bothered me a little.

This past Friday was my friend's memorial service. We had her service in the chapel at our church, it was packed to capacity! It was so amazing to see how many people's lives she had touched. She worked at Cox Communications and there were so many people there from her job. Our church parking lot was honestly filled with Cox trucks. I saw all these men walk in, they are still in uniform. You can tell they are on duty, some of them are dirty, but it's amazing to see them all there. I can't stand to see men cry, that will usually push me to the edge of crying. Believe me, there were a lot of men crying. Some people got up and spoke and they all said the same thing, she loved shopping and chocolate. But they all also said that no matter where she went, she was the ray of sunshine. That is so true. There was also a slide show of pictures of Erica over the years. It was nice and a good means to get closure.

So, this is the week, the one I look forward to every year. Drum roll please.......it's time for VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL! Hooray! This week always provides for an awesome week. We will all be exhausted by the time Friday gets here, but it's totally worth it. Our theme this year is "Lifeguard" and how God is the lifeguard over our life. This year, I'm supervising the 1st - 3rd graders. The best night of the week is always Friday. After everyone picks up their kids, all the families, staff, and volunteers go into the Worship Center and we see pictures of the week as well as sing and dance. It's so fun.

Anyways, that is all today. Have a fantastic day!

Quote of the day: "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." Franklin P. Jones.

The value of life

I found out yesterday afternoon that my friend, Erica, was killed in a car accident on Friday. I knew her before we went to Chile, but I got to know her so much more when we went on our mission trip. Everything feels so surreal, like she’s still here. Sunday while I was sitting in church, her and her mom had popped in my head. I was thinking about them and how I hadn’t seen them in awhile. Erica and her mother were both involved in the accident. Her mother is recovering in a rehab place. I saw her yesterday. I was so thankful Sheri was there the same time I was. I had no clue as to what I was going to say to Erica’s mother. Erica’s mom is in good spirits. Her and Erica were really close. She stated she felt a little at peace because she knew Erica wasn’t afraid to die and she is now in heaven with Jesus. The grieving process will not be easy, it never is. My gram has been gone almost 7 years, there isn’t a day where I don’t think about her. And to this day, all I need is a little reminder of her (I hear her name, someone is wearing her perfume), to start crying. With her, the parents are never prepared to bury their children, it should be the other way around. She said she should of died in that accident, but God still wanted her here for some reason. She said she thought Erica died instantly, which is good. I really wouldn’t of wanted her to suffer. I can’t stop thinking about her. The conversations we shared, our precious time in Chile, her little purse that had everything but the kitchen sink in it and how I always poked fun at it, her laugh. She was only in her 30’s, mid 30’s I think. She is the focus of my thoughts and prayers today.

Erica is a prime example how quickly someone’s life can end and to live life to the fullest. Some people really don’t value life and don’t realize that in one quick moment, it could be all over. She loved God with her entire heart, she loved her family, friends. Her life was blessed and she became a blessing to everyone who encountered her. She worked at Cox Communications and when they found out she had been killed, they closed the entire office for the day so her coworkers could grieve her loss. I’m reminded of a Stellar Kart song, the chorus goes, “Life is good, eternal life is better…” So, Erica, I know you’re with Jesus now. And I know you are probably asking Him all kinds of questions. I know you’re worried about your mom. Don’t worry, your family and friends will take care of her as much as we can.

Quote of the day: When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” ~Erma Bombeck

All you need in life...

...is a few awesome friends.

Hello everyone! Happy Thursday! How is everyone doing? I’m doing pretty good.

I have to say, I have the greatest friends in the world. The ones, I’m really close to simply amaze me every day. I can feel the love they have for me. And irregardless of the mistakes I make or the things I choose to do, they still love me. I’m glad they love me enough to give me their honest opinion on everything.I value their opinions, they mean a lot to me. For the past week, I have really been realizing how much I just appreciate every single one of them for loving me, even when I make stupid mistakes and choices. I’m gonna give you a few examples from Becky, Kays, and Reed.

Becky and I went to dinner about a week or so ago. I knew that I needed to tell her something…but was desperately afraid of doing it. Becky is seriously one of the closest and I couldn't stand her mad at me. I just blurted out what I needed to tell her and she was okay with it. It felt good to get it out, it’s been something that has been brewing for awhile. Lol, I became like a little kid and was telling her that I’ve never kept anything from her before, this was the only thing and I wouldn't do it again. She didn't let that ruin anything we have. She is back at college, and I’m desperately missing her already.

Oh then there is Reed. He is my little brother (not really), but we are really close. I saw him minutes before he was picking up his girlfriend one day. This was the night he was going to propose and he was a nervous wreck. I remember standing there rubbing his arms telling him it was going to work out perfectly. But last night the tables turned. I was rehearsing something with Children’s where I am going to sing with the kids on stage, using a mic, singing along with aCD, and doing motions with them. I’m normally up on stage with someone singing, strumming a guitar and me doing the motions, but I’m up there all by myself. I had thought it was just going to be Kevin and I, then Reed, Kim, and Kris came in and I got super nervous. I was freaking out. Reed was doing his best to calm me down like I had done when he was about to propose. Reed says, “Brandy! What are you freaking out about? You’ll do great.” You have to know him, there is a certain way he says my name when I’m acting crazy about something. It helped having him in there to cheer me on and to encourage me.

And then my littlest sister, Kaysie. She is the youngest, but has so much maturity. We are choosing to disagree on something. We’re not fighting or arguing, never have. But I can see her side of the story and I totally see where I am going wrong. She doesn’t want me to get hurt in any type of way and she is looking at what is best for me. But, she still claims me as her Didi (which is big sister in Nepalese), and loves me no matter what. We have had some serious talks and some serious giggles!

Those are just three of my friends who are in my life and are very important to me. But in the past week, I have been really appreciative of them and the love they have in their hearts. Becky, Reed, and Kaysie...I love all of them with everything I can. And I’m proud to have claimed the big sister status to all of them.

Have a great day!

Love,

Bran