Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Will it Ever End?

I feel like my school journey will never end and I also feel like I have been doing it FOREVER! I am so close to applying for the nursing program, yet so far away. After this semester, I could apply for the program here in AZ, but there is a wait list of at least two years currently. Although, I have registered for classes here in the fall, just in case I'm still here, do I go ahead and apply for the program as well? I really don't want to, but I might be screwing myself by not applying. I have contacted a university in Indiana about their requirements for their nursing program, but have yet to hear anything back after 2 attempts. In order to apply for the program here, I have to shell out $75 for my fingerprint card. *Sigh* If I do that and then go, I will have wasted that money because my fingerprint card will not be valid in Indiana. But if I don't get the card, I can't apply for the program here in AZ. So many decisions! I am just going to wait it out through the summer to see what happens before applying. I know the sooner I apply, the better, but my future is up in the air right now.

Although I am actually getting a B (*Gasp*) in my Math class, I cannot wait for it to end. My brain is usually mush after class four nights a week and I generally spend my entire weekend doing Math homework. Sometimes I get so tired of doing this whole school thing because I am in my 30's and most of my classmates are all these young people who have mommy and daddy to pay for everything. They don't take school seriously, barely slide by with a passing grade, and they all have the attitude of knowing their parents will pay for everything. Then there's the older crowd of us, the ones who work full time, struggle to pay our bills and school because we are on our own, who study our butts off for for a grade, who really want a degree in something worthwhile and will sacrifice so much to get that degree. And as unmotivated as I get, and as much as I hate school sometimes, I continue to persevere taking one or two classes a semester until I get my nursing degree. I hate the fact that I have student loans, but the end result for me is to do something good with my degree. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I desperately want to be in the mission field as a nurse. Maybe working in that AIDS clinic in South Africa or maybe working in a Dengue Fever clinic in Honduras. I have no idea where God wants me, I just know I am being called to the medical field, working with the impoverished countries. It has been something on my heart for a long time.

And so I continue. Continue to spend an obscene amount of time studying and doing homework. Continue to search the web as well as book stores for resources that will help this old 34 year old brain of mine to comprehend everything and to keep up with these young kids. Continue to pursue that degree in nursing that I have been doing for at least 5 years now. There's a part of me that regrets not going to college right after high school, but I know everything happened for a reason. I had life experiences (good and bad) that I wouldn't have had if I had gone to college. So, I think the only reason I regret not going right away is being older and struggling with school. But in another aspect, me being older has given me the discipline to buckle down and do things like homework on a Saturday night when I really want to be hanging out with some girlfriends. Or taking all of last spring break to study for my nursing entrance exam. It's all about determining what exactly are your priorities. Right now, my priority is passing this Math class and getting one step closer to applying for the nursing program.

"Education is the process in which we discover that learning adds quality to our lives. Learning must be experienced." ~William Glasser


SaraMarie said...

I think its smart to wait. I could have applied last August, but didn't because I was still hopeful that we would move. If things don't work out, I'm screwed, but either way, God is working it out for the good. :) Hang in there! I'll be praying!

sunnycalgirl said...

You do have a lot to consider..I love that you want to use your medical knowledge to minister...Keep on keeping on in Him..