Table for One, Please

I was having a conversation with the head security guard at work about marriage. Him and his wife have been married for over 40 years. They are such awesome people and they have supported me on a few of my mission trips. He asked me when he was going to get a wedding invite. I jokingly told him I had to find someone to marry first. He asked me a simple question, "Are you happy with your life right now?" I had no hesitation as I told him yes. I am happy right now being single. I am right where God wants me. We started talking about it happening when God wants it to happen. I do agree with that, however, I also think that maybe that's not in my future. Maybe I will be like Paul in the Bible and be single the rest of my life. People hate when they say that, but it could be true. Paul is one of my favorite people in the Bible and God's plan was for him to be single to ultimately fulfill what God had in store for him. I am okay being like Paul, he was after all, one of Jesus' biggest fans.

I do want to get married and I want to have children, but I am also very content where I am right now. And where I am is standing in God's presence serving Him with everything I have. I am not focused on any man, except for the one who should have all of my attention. He's really the only man who I need to love fully and completely right now. I know I can fully serve God being single, but I also know I can serve Him just as much if I were married. And as far as children are concerned, I am not opposed to adopting children either locally or internationally. I have plenty of love to give to a child, even if I didn't give birth to them. See, one of my yearnings solved! :)

So, I don't know what is in God's plans for me as far as that is concerned. The thought of marriage and having children appeal to me, but honestly I have not found one man who not only believes in God, but also follows Him, intentionally following Him by spreading His love to other people (at least not one who is single anyways). And that is important to me regarding finding the one. I want someone who is a leader of Christ above all and I won't budge on that one aspect. I want someone who is going to "show me up" by making me grow in my faith by challenging me, one who holds me accountable, one who believes we are solely here to tell other people about God's grace, mercy, and love. I won't compromise on my morals or values for anyone. I've sadly done it in the past, and it's not worth it.

Maybe that is why I am still single because I set such a high standard for men. Well, can you blame me? Righteous, Godly men rarely seem to exist any more. The only one I have found who won't let me down or break my heart is God.


And so here I am, a single 34 year old woman. Most of my friends are in relationships that are leading to marriage or are already married. And it hurts sometimes being single, but I know I am in right place in my life with God. I know that if it's in His plan, it will happen. I also know God's plans for me may include me never getting married. All I know is His plans for me are big (I can feel it in my bones) and He will continue to rock my world. I don't think I could love God more than I do now, but He will "show me up" and challenge me like He always does!