Monday, November 24, 2008

My problems are so small

Yesterday, as I was heading to the family's house, I saw a homeless man standing on the off ramp. He was holding a sign, that I can't seem to get out of my head. His sign said: "Bad day? It could be worse." I sat there wondering how many people were affected like me by that sign. I love working with the homeless, so I try to do what I can to help them. But not everyone sees the homeless like I do. As I sat there waiting for the light, I began to see a man in my head. He was dressed in his suit, driving a black BMW, he has had the worst day in the office. He hates his job and would give anything for a new one. He just wants to go home and the last thing he wants is to be bothered by a homeless man. Like I said, this was in my head, but I couldn't help but think, what would he think if he was actually sitting there and saw this sign?

Would it even phase him? Would he realize his problems really aren't so bad after all? That man's sign is so right. We all know it is. We could have a horrible day, but in the end, our horrible day is still nothing compared to what homeless people experience.

Tonight at church, I had that realization that my problems are so little. The man with the sign was still fresh in my head and tonight at church we had a pastor come and speak who was from Sudan. It was a really good sermon! He talked about his mother who had been killed and how he had been beaten almost to death all for the name of Jesus.

Persecution is something very near and dear to this heart of mine. Have you ever looked up my blog name, Hebrews 13:3? It's one of my favorite verses. Go, look it up.

I love/despise when God really speaks to me in church. I love it for the fact that he will literally humble me beyond belief. I despise it when it happens in church, because I have issues with crying in front of people.

As this man spoke of the torture he received in the name of Christ, I felt the tears streaming down my face. I tried to hide them from my friend. I felt horrible for thinking my problems, whatever they may be are big things, let alone important. There are people in this world who are being killed for their faith in Jesus, they are not allowed to pray, they are not allowed to have Bibles.

There are people in this world who are living on the streets, wondering where they will sleep or wondering when the next time they will eat will be. They have no place to call home.

My problems are nothing compared to people who are persecuted for their faith, they are also nothing compared to the problems the homeless people have.

Why did I get so caught up in my world? I've become selfish, thinking the world should revolve around me. That my problems are the biggest of them all. I am the one who let myself get like this, putting others needs aside to focus on my own. I know that's not the way I should be and anyone who knows me personally knows that I'm not normally like that. So much stuff has happened recently that I am literally shutting myself off to the world. This is also known as not giving of myself, being selfish. Giving of myself, my time, my trust has recently caused so much pain, hence me not wanting to do it anymore. But people who are persecuted have given so much of themselves, no matter the cost. They continue to give and give and give.

Do you think God was trying to knock some sense into this head of mine? I think so.

The pastor said that 200 million people in the world are persecuted for their faith. A website reports that there are an estimated 3.5 million people who are homeless.

Now, you're problems really aren't that big, are they?

I need to get back to that point. Back to where I realized that it's not about Brandy, it's about GOD. It's about helping that homeless person, it's about sticking up for my faith in God no matter what. It's soley about God, no matter what the situation. My life should revolve around God, but lately it hasn't. When did I lose myself? I can't quite pin point it at this exact moment.

Quote of the day: "The selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself. Darkness ceases only when light is introduced; so ignorance can only be dispersed by knowledge; selfishness by love." ~James Allen

Scripture of the day: "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:19-20

1 comment:

Roxanne Kristina said...

I completely hear you. You have a knack at being vulnerable, putting words to what so many feel and then bringing it "home." You have a great heart!

Have you met Papa at Choices R Mine? I think you would really like him. He and Mama are precious and love on everyone. They are retirees (sp?) in Michigan and snow bird in FL.