Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Flame

Happy Monday, everyone! How are you doing? I'm pretty good. Except my allergies are killing me today. Phooey. It's definitely a glasses/ponytail day. Last night, I got to hang out with Jason. It was nice. I haven't seen him in three weeks. We had dinner and went to a movie. And we didn't even spend a dime. We both had gift cards, I paid for dinner and he picked up the movies. By the way, I HIGHLY suggest you go see 88 Minutes. It was a really good movie. It was one of those movies that keeps you guessing through the entire thing. GO SEE IT!

Anyways, as most of you know, once I get my nursing degree, I hope to be a missionary in a Spanish speaking country. Sometimes that “missionary flame” that I have seems to fade out ever so gently. As much as I try to keep the light going, I sense it going out for a few reasons:

·I haven’t been out of the country since 2006 when I came back with Dengue Fever. I am itching to go on a trip, but need to make school a priority right now.

·My church has a really good missions program, but I didn’t feel as though I could follow with them as their focus is somewhere where mine honestly isn’t. In the midst of everything going on, I had left my church for that very reason. But 7 months later, after not finding a church, God somehow brought me back to Central with the realization that He’s not quite finished with me there yet. And came to the realization that I volunteer with a mission’s agency when I’m not in school. I could get my foot in the door there.

·I really don’t have a lot of people around me who are missionary minded to help keep that flame ignited and it’s hard to be encouraged.

·I am in my 2nd year of Spanish, and although I can read and write it really well, I don’t feel comfortable speaking it in the slightest. I love the Spanish language, which is why I want to go to a Spanish speaking country. But sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be fluent in it to comfortably tell people about Jesus. I am not immersed in the culture and nobody really speaks to me in Spanish.

·My immune system. Enough said. I should be willing to die for Christ, NO MATTER WHAT, even if that includes me dying from a bug bite. I realize that, but to think how sick I was, how sick I could be if I get bitten by another mosquito, it honestly scares me.

I sometimes think maybe that’s not where I’m supposed to be. Maybe I’m not one of the called anymore because of all of this. But wait…God wouldn’t take something like that away, would he? It could very well be the evil one, just working his magic one. Then God, will put people or situations in my life that help me to remember that yes, I’m being called, just be patient, Brandy. So enough of the negative. Let’s focus on how amazing God is.

·I subscribe to a few people on Xanga who are missionaries. And although I haven’t actually told them this, but they bring so much encouragement to me. I read their blogs, and it’s just about their normal lives, except they are doing what God wants them to do in another country. And I love reading their blogs. So, to MissionaryMommy, EverythingLovely, angiewashington, and wrestlingwithGod, thank you for encouraging me. Even though you may not think you are encouraging me, you most definitely are.

·A few weeks ago, I had to speak at Tres Dias. My talk was about spreading God’s word. What better person to do it, than a girl who wants to be a missionary? I was so encouraged by people who had heard my talk. Many made me cry, because they all thanked me for being one of the called and keeping Jesus’ light going.

·Saturday, I met with the man in charge of the Hispanic Ministry at my church. He said I had been on his heart lately as to why I left, but was glad I was back. He said he knew where my heart was…Chile. Yes, it’s been there since 2005. He said he understood everything as to why I was having the feelings that I did. He really encouraged me in my walk, my missionary walk, and my Spanish walk. He wants me to start attending a Spanish Bible Study, just to listen and then when I’m comfortable enough, I can start participating and maybe volunteering with the kids. I also told him that I so missed my Spanish/English Bible. I had one, but in 2006 gave it to someone in the Dominican Republic. He was just learning English and had just become a Christian. God was telling me to give him that Bible, so I did. He needed it more than I did. But the Spanish/English one I want is $45 and I just haven’t been able to swing it to get another one. What does he do? He TOTALLY hands me a brand new Spanish/English Bible for free, it’s a nice one. That totally made my day.

·And then to top it off, I saw Jim Caviezel yesterday. He came and spoke at a church here in the valley. Do you know who this man is? Let me refresh your memory, he was in GI Jane, Frequency, Count of Monte Cristo, Déjà vu, Pay it Forward. Still doesn’t jog your memory? Have you seen the Passion of the Christ? He’s the man who played Jesus. Yep, yep. I totally met him yesterday. He’s a VERY STRONG Christian. I honestly cried through his entire talk. He talked about how being a Christian is not easy and we are to suffer, because Christ suffered. He said that during filming of the Passion, he actually became so sick from exhaustion and pneumonia that the doctor’s told him he could die. Do you know what he said? He said it didn’t matter, if he lost his life in order to save millions of people by doing that movie, then it was worth everything. I was honored to meet him, shake his hand, and talk to him for a few minutes. He is such a man of God, I had no clue how strong in his faith he is. See, God is AMAZING, but you knew that already, huh?

Have a FANTASTIC day and bask in His love!


Quote of the day: “You were not made to fit in; you were born to STAND OUT.” Jim Caviezel

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