Well another year is about to come to a close and a new year is upon us. I was pondering about this year at an ungodly hour when I should of been asleep this morning. I need 2008 to end more than anything. Some people can look back and say that 2008 was the greatest year yet, but for me I can honestly say that 2008 has been the worst year I've had in a long time, maybe ever.
During this year:
- I lost so much of myself that sometimes I didn't even recognize the person I've become. In other respects, I also found a lot of myself, realizing what's going on with me.
- I had a friendship where I thought we'd be friends forever, nothing could break the bond we formed. But this friendship became one that was lost somewhere along the way for us to never to speak to each other anymore. I've reconciled other friendships, strengthened the close ones I have more than ever. Realizing that these few people are the one's who have this heart of mine in their hands and mean so much to me.
- I've owned up to my mistakes. Sucked up my pride and apologized for something I did wrong, numerous times. I think the hardest lesson to learn this year was to turn the other cheek. I did that, too. Irregardless of the words spewed from your mouth, I chose not to give into the pettiness. I turned the other cheek, like instructed to in the Bible, only to be slapped in the other cheek. Looking back, I'm glad I did turn my cheeks. It stung beyond belief, but listening to God instead, took away the sting.
- Many times, I drew closer to God, holding his hand as tight as I could, trusting him and allowing him to guide my life. Other times, I came very close to walking away from everything I know about this God I serve. I would let my grasp go and watch my faith just go away from me. No matter what happened, my friends were through it all, holding me accountable for my actions, pushing me back to God to take his hand once again. No matter how much I wanted to revert back to my old life, God would stop me when I got too close to the edge.
And what about the resolutions made last year? How did those turn out?
- Well one resolution was to lose weight. I did do that, I lost 30 lbs this year. I could of done more, I know. I need to lose lots more. But I can see the 30 lbs gone in my clothes, my face, and my heel spurs don't bother me as much. Hooray. I will definitely work on that for this year. I've got some serious poundage to lose.
- Finances will be the death of me. I got better with that, but still messed up sometimes. Still needs improvement, lots of improvement.
- I had made a resolution to tell three people things I needed to say. Two people, I wasn't very close to, and one was the closest of all. Did I do that? Well, for one person, I didn't. It's a letter that I need to write, a long overdue letter, to someone that has caused a lot of pain through out my life. The other person, I did, but somehow it got misinterpreted and it's almost like I didn't tell them at all. The one I worried about telling was the one who was closest to me. Did I tell this person what I needed to say? Oh yes, I sure did! They know everything, I spilled my soul out and we are okay, closer than ever.
- I do have other resolutions for the new year, but they are personal ones. Ones that need to be followed and stuck with.
Goodbye 2008, you've managed to mark yourself in Brandy's Book of Life as a nasty one. But guess what? I'm still breathing, it may only be barely, but I managed to survive you. I've even got battle wounds to prove it. *Points to heart*
Hello 2009, could you be easy on me? Please? Could you take into account that I barely survived your previous year when you throw things at me? Or if you're going to throw things at me, could you at least make it easy things to take on? Pretty please with sugar on top? Por favor?
What's that, God? Ah yes, you will never give me more than I can handle. I remember that. I also remember that when I feel that I can't take on the world, I'm forgetting that you are in control and that I need to trust you fully. I still to this day, struggle with that. Can I add that to the resolution list of things to accomplish in the new year? Good, I'm glad you're so forgiving and you still love me.
Quote of the day: "Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past." ~Henry Ward Beecher
Scripture of the day: "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13, The Message
Okay, seriously....I need to keep that verse close to my heart! I love The Message version of it!
This morning as I was driving to work, dancing like crazy in my car (by myself nonetheless), I stopped and pondered if God laughs. I was brought back to a verse that Kaysie loves, Job 8:21, "He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." The Bible talks about how God has emotions. So, I'm sure God laughs and I'm willing to bet $ he was laughing at me this morning. I was doing some serious dancing in my car this morning. He was probably laughing and shaking his head. I wasn't trying to impress anyone this morning, I was alone, but having the time of my life jamming to the songs on the radio this morning. *Giggle* I was quite amused. 