So astounded

It was a little over a year ago that someone introduced me to Tres Dias. Tres Dias is an interfaith (Christian) intense spiritual retreat. And my weekend that I experienced God's love in a way I never have was one year ago exactly. In Arizona, Tres Dias holds retreats every six months, so since my first time experiencing Tres Dias, I have since served on two more retreats after going for the first time. This past weekend, I hopped on a bus up to Prescott to volunteer at the retreat once again. My duty this weekend, was to give one of the lessons. The lesson I had to give was about telling people about Jesus. Seeing as I want to be a missionary long term, what a better person to give the lesson, huh? Although I didn't think that at first, but as time went on, I began to see why God told our leader that I was to give this very lesson. My talk was on Saturday afternoon, it had to be 20 minutes long. Right after lunch, I began to get very sick. My stomach was turning and my hands were cold and clammy. Ah, yes, the sure signs of nervousness. As I went up to my room, I just prayed through many, many tears for God to take away the bad feelings. This lesson I was giving contained private aspects of my life that only the few closest to me knew about. And although I didn't go into details about everything, just skimming the surface of my private life was enough to make me a nervous wreck. Before my lesson, I was prayed over. This also happened during my lesson and after. It helped calm me. After my lesson, a lady came up to me and just hugged me. Through her tears, she simply said, "Thank you for sharing with us." She told me I had such a sweet spirit and said she had no clue as to what my life entailed until now. She said she saw my light, God's light, shine very brightly and said I was an inspiration to her. Really? Me an inspiration? No, not me, Jesus. I skimmed the surface of my mother situation in my lesson. She also told me that she would be honored to have me as her "daughter". She made me cry, and people don't do that too much. It was such a moment in my life.

Thursday night, I can see the hesitation in the women's faces as they stepped on that bus to Prescott. I can see the confusion, they are all wondering what they are doing here. Some are hurt, some are angry or bitter, some haven't felt any love, especially the love of God in a long time. Some of them are "dead" in their faith or questioning God as to why something has happened to them. They are all lonely and scared, secretly wishing someone would just reach out to them in some sort of way.

But as the weekend progresses, the walls these women are holding up, began to slowly break down. They begin to open up their heart and let God in. Have you ever seen God's hand at work? I mean to really see it happening right in front of your face? It's the most amazing thing to see. I am someone who pays attention to details. And as a team member, my senses are acutely aware of my surroundings. I am always looking at the people experiencing the weekend for the first time, watching them, loving on them, giving them plenty of tissue when the tears come. Not saying anything to them, just holding them as they break down. By the end of the weekend, you have somehow managed to form lasting friendships, deepen ones from before, and feel the love of God like you have never felt it before. Experience his grace maybe for the first time. I always come back on fire, my thoughts focused more on God than before. And although I've experienced Tres Dias three times already, I broke down crying a few times as well. It's just amazing to serve God and to know that he loves us no matter what. This is a women's retreat, but we will have a few men with us. These people are the directors of the weekend. They open up to us about their lives, struggles they've had. Without hesitation, they too break down crying in front of many women. Those moments are so precious when a man lets his guard down, and doesn't care who is around, and just cries. In my eyes, these are Godly men. They get God and they let nothing hold them back from his love and grace. It's amazing...you have to experience it to understand. There is nothing that I can say or write to explain 100% about what happens at Tres Dias, how God meets you in a place you never experienced before. All I can say is..I'm hooked and I'm serving again in October. God has put people on my heart as to who I should send on this retreat. One person has agreed to go as long as there isn't a schedule conflict with something. I can't wait for October to get here, I want this person to experience the love I feel every time I go.

God is amazing....

"At the cross you beckon me, draw me gently to my knees, and I'm so lost for words, so in love, I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered."

So sleepy...

Happy Thursday everyone! Have you ever had one of those weeks where you simply don't have enough time to complete what you need to finish? Oh man, I'm having time issues this week. This is when I need to forget about sleep to get everything done. However, my body won't let me do that, which I'm thankful for. My Spanish teacher could care less that I'm going out of town tonight. Really, she doesn't care. She was nice enough last night to give us an obscene amount of homework for the weekend. Tengo una nota para ti, Sra. Gonzales (I have a memo for you, Sra. Gonzales), I am going out of town Thursday night and will not return until late Sunday night. Nowhere in between that time of going out of town will I have any type of time to complete your crazy long assignments. Sra. I've been really good about doing my assignments, I'm getting an "A" in your 4th level Spanish class, can I just once have a break? No? Didn't think so. I don't know what I am going to do in regards to my homework, I'm thinking of just taking Monday off to do Spanish homework all day. Oy vei.

I'm heading up to Prescott this weekend. Rumor has it, it's still really cold up there. So, just when I thought I had retired the infamous blue hoodie until next year, ladies and gentlemen, I've brought it back out. This will be my best friend for the entire weekend. I love my blue hoodie. I am heading up north for a spiritual retreat called Tres Dias. This is the third one I've attended, second one I've volunteered at. I'm excited to see what God has in store this weekend. He always shows himself to me a little more every time I go. This time, I giving a talk. I'm excited about it, but nervous at the same time. It's a small, intimate retreat. We have 25 women registered. It will be amazing and I once again will come back different than before.

God has really been working on me and my heart lately. He's humbled me numerous times and is slowly healing my heart to something I'll probably never obtain. He is amazing, and I've always known that, but I forget. And then he reveals himself to me and I'm utterly and completely dumbfounded, left without words. "At the cross you beckon me, draw me gently to my knees, and I'm so lost for words, so in love, I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered."

A few updates and then I'm outtie 5000:

• Please pray for Jason. He's been really sick this week. It might be strep throat.
  
• I talked to my niece a few days ago, she said she got pictures done of the baby. Oh you know I will be posting them as SOON as I get them. She also said that the baby is now talking. *Giggle* Her first word? Dada. I told you she was a daddy's girl.
  
• Last day of school is May 6th. Oh it's not coming fast enough, it's a little over 4 weeks till my summer starts. This is how I look at it, in our Spanish book, we have one chapter left. It seems more faster that school is ending if I say it that way. I just have to get through that last chapter and then take a 14 page final. Yes, I said 14 pages...that is how crazy my Spanish teacher is. My math is only a 2 page final.
  
• I was going to take summer school to get that last Math credit out of the way, but I am waiting to determine if I can get my foot operated on this summer instead. Those crazy heel spurs.
  
• Baseball season has started. The Yankees are 1-1. Just wanted to let you know.
  
• Oh and Spring has sprung! Look at the flower that popped up! And the bunny I found! *Giggle*

Hey! Have a fantastic weekend. I shall hit you up on Sunday when I get home.

Love you, you, you, you, oh and especially YOU!

Bran

Quote of the day: "It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" ~Mark Twain

One word, just one word

Well, Happy Saturday everyone! How are you doing? I'm doing fantastic, simply and utterly fantastic. I've just really been seeing so much clarity as to who I am, where I am going, and it's simply amazing! Have you ever had one of those moments where you actually see God at work? Today, I saw God's hands and it stopped me in my tracks, brought tears to my eyes, and chills through my entire body. Man, we serve an amazing God, don't we? I want to talk about it, but it will have to wait for a few weeks. It has to do with Tres Dias (retreat) and the person, I'm sending, Rachel. And even though Rachel hasn't been on Xanga in FOREVER, my luck would be that I blog about my experience today and she will log on. If you really want to know, just message me, I will tell you.

Anyways, a few days ago on television, somebody asked this question, "If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?" Hmmm...that's always an interesting question and I began to ponder on that. I came to the conclusion of what my answer would be, but let's get technical first.

Asking this question could force a person to just give a quick answer without really thinking or force them to really ponder on it as I have. In reality, no questions asked, I am a daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, etc...you know, those are for sure things that I am, no personality involved.

But then, there is the generic answers. Let's say you're in a job interview, and they pose the same question. My response would be trustworthy or responsible. Because let's face it, you are trying to sell yourself the best you can. To me, trustworthy would encompass being responsible as well.

After I came to my own answer as to who I am, I posted a bulletin on Myspace to get responses from people as to who they think I am. Here are the responses: silly, considerate, loveable, trusting, caring, steady, honest, and insightful. Yes, I would describe me as those things, but there is one word I left out...SPITEFUL. Yes, someone told me yesterday, I was spiteful. Now, the person that told me this, I'm really close to and they know me pretty well. Now you might be thinking, "How rude!" or "You're not spiteful." Yes, I admit, I am a spiteful person, so I can't get offended. This person simply called me out on something I need to change. I decided to look up spiteful yesterday and it says some things like this: mean, malicious, harmful intent. I don't want to be known as a spiteful person, but in reality I'm the most spiteful person I know. I will do things (not go somewhere, not be a part of something, etc) because in my head I feel as though I'm hurting someone and I'm honestly saying " I want them to feel the pain they caused me." But in reality, the only person I'm hurting....is me, nobody else, just little ol' me. I know that's not a Christian quality, I'm working on trying to improve, but it's so hard after being like this so long. But being called out yesterday on it, once again has got me pondering.

So, all babbling aside, let's ask this question, "Brandy, if you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be and why?"

I wanted to be different and not give a generic answer, so I began to think about my life, who I am as a person, what influences my thoughts and behaviors. So my answer to that would be..."Follower". Yep yep, I said follower. I am a follower of Jesus Christ and that is the total and complete explanation of who I am. Every day, I try to follow in God's footsteps, sometimes I find they are big shoes to fill. Sometimes, I choose not to follow Him and I start walking in my own path, expecting people to follow me, but I get so, so, lost doing that. But when I get lost, he takes hold of my hand and guides me back to his footsteps. I found this picture on photobucket, it reminds me of getting lost and taking God's hand. My hands are so small compared to his, I feel so safe, knowing he will guide me back to where I belong. So, that's it, I'm a follower, nothing more, nothing less trying to make sure I stay on track, walking in his footprints.

I shall leave you with this, I love this quote. It's scribbled in my Bible, in my medicine cabinet and in my room to help me remember who I am.

Quote of the day: "They say to be a leader, not a follower. I say being a follower of Jesus is the most notable position one could hold." ~Unknown

It's a beautiful day in the Phoenix valley, I'm going to hand wash my car and take a nice walk basking in the love of God.

Have a great weekend!

Love,

Bran

Happy Pre-Super Bowl

Happy Saturday everyone! How are you doing? I'm doing pretty fantastic. I just got home from a meeting with Tres Dias. That is that retreat where I'm speaking in April. I had to give my lesson today for critique. Oh man. I was doing okay, until I stepped up to the podium. Then I starting getting really nervous, my hands were sweating, and my left leg was shaking so bad. I was scared! In my lesson I talked about how people have deepened my relationship with Christ and what I'm doing about it. I'm a private person, very few people actually know me, the real me, good and bad. Today, I had to give these women a snippet of who I am. Oh man, that was the hardest thing to do and that is why my legs were shaking so bad. But, it's over and I received a lot of extremely positive feedback. Whew! Now, I just have to give it for the actual weekend, which is the first weekend in April. It will be here soon.

So, tomorrow is the Super Bowl here in AZ. Are you planning on watching it? Who are you rooting for? I'm probably not going to watch it, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I like Notre Dame football, but can't really get into football any other time. Not only is the Super Bowl here, but so is the FBR Open (some huge golf thing) and Glendale moved their "I Love Chocolate" Festival to this weekend as well. Hello revenue! It just seems as though everything is crazy busy now. Even here in the East Valley, many miles away from where the Super Bowl is being held, I just feel as though everything is busy. My Super Bowl Sunday is going to consist of doing homework, taking Jason's mom out for her birthday and then church with Jason. No time for football. Oh darn. But recently, I have been watching basketball. Back in the day, I totally used to be a huge basketball fan. I was all over the Chicago Bulls, I watched them all the time. But I kinda got out of it when I moved out of Indiana. But recently, I have been watching it again. The only time I see it is when I'm at J's house and we are watching the Portland Trailblazers. He said he was determined to make me a fan. And even though I don't watch many of the games, I find myself checking their schedule to see when and who they are playing next. So, I believe slowly, the basketball fan is coming alive in me. Ah, J, you should be so proud. He wants to make me a Yankees fan as well, we shall see. Lol, that might make it a tad bit more difficult as my roomie is a Red Sox fan. They are enemies. But, my opinion on her take on sports shall be saved for another day.

Oh yes, before I go. Remember a few weeks ago, I was meeting with a friend I haven't spoken to in over a year? We talked, before she got to say anything, I started apologizing for my actions, apologizing for not being the friend to her I should of been. I prayed to God she would forgive me, that we could move past everything that had happened. She found it in her heart to forgive me. We are going to Macayo's for some Mexican Food in a little bit. I'm thankful she forgave me, I feel humbled by God it happened the way it did. Awed once again by his greatness.

I'm off to dinner! Have a great day!

Bran

Quote of the day: "A strong woman is not one that never falls, but one who gets up after falling." ~Unknown

Okay God...

I think you've stretched me enough for 2007. What do you mean you're not done stretching me? Can't I have a break? Please, just a little break? No, figures. Of course I'm your child, I will do what you say. This was part of a little conversation I had with God yesterday when he decided to give me something else.

I had been pondering whether to serve with Tres Dias again. It's a lot to serve, a lot of time, money. I just don't have the time with school. I've been wrestling with God about serving again since I came back from the one in October. God finally told me to suck it up (he does that a lot), to trust him (sometimes I forget that small detail) and to serve. Because Tres Dias isn't about me, it's about God blessing others through me. The leader of the women's retreat said she had an area for me to serve, but wanted me to take some time and think about what I wanted to do. I immediately responded back and told her it wasn't where I wanted to serve, but where God wanted me to serve. I really didn't have the strength to argue with God any more yesterday. He always wins when I argue with him. You think I would learn not to fight with him, but I still do. So, she responded back with the area I'm serving. She has me as one of the people who will be teaching a lesson to the women attending Tres Dias. Yes, a speaker. Honestly for a few seconds after that, I couldn't breathe. Public speaking? Now, I've done many lessons on many mission trips, but I felt this one was different. This is an intense spiritual weekend and I had to provide a 20 minute lesson on being a Christian and sharing God's love. But, it's all good though. God will give me the words.

So, I sat down and wrote a 4 page letter. I haven't done that in so long, and yes Leah, it's your letter! Granted it wasn't full size pieces of paper, but 4 pages nonetheless. There is another letter I need to write, but afraid to start it. It would be to someone who has caused a lot of pain. Maybe one day I'll write that letter, maybe one day.

Jason and I were talking about my car accident on Sunday. Nothing has been settled yet, and it happened in August. I decided to call State Farm to see if there was any update on my claim from my car accident. I should just consider the money I paid out, which is $500, gone. Like it never existed. State Farm was nice enough to tell me that they have not heard ANYTHING from Safe Auto, the other insurance company. They said my claim has now been escalated. Escalated to what, I asked? State Farm is now working on taking them to court. Oh joy. That just makes me so happy, not really. It's Christmas time and that money could help. But since I won't be seeing it anytime soon...Phooey to Safe Auto!!

Funny thing happened yesterday. I got the notion to do a dance exercise video on my lunch break. I was working from home yesterday and decided to do the video since no one was home. That way if I made a fool of myself, no one would see. I worked up a good sweat for 30 minutes, then started back to work. As my lunch is only 30 minutes. I figured I would just shower when my shift was over before I went to school. Here's the funny thing...when my shift was over, I went to wash my dishes only to realize there's no water. WHAT? I called the office, they said a water line had broken and they didn't know when the water would be functioning again. I had to leave for school at 4 p.m., the water came back on at 3:52. Figures. Good thing I only had to go to the testing center to take a test. And thank God for deodrant!

Anyways, gotta get off here and start work! Have a great day!

Brandy

Quote of the day: "Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?" ~Dennis Mannering

How great is our God?

How great is our God? God is so great that He created everything around us, the birds, the trees, the sky, the Grand Canyon, etc. I went up to Prescott this weekend for Tres Dias. There was a brief moment in the morning where I was able to sit outside and relax. I just sat there on the wooden bench looking at my surroundings, breathing the beautiful air, and awing over how beautiful the trees looked that were changing colors. Every few minutes or so, I saw a bird flying over the mountain. I felt God's presence so much that morning, like He was sitting right there with me on the bench.

How great is our God? To see people transform to what God desires them to be right in front of my eyes is so amazing. Have you ever been witness to that? This past weekend, I witnessed so many hurting people. They were all hurting in different ways. I also witnessed their healing, God meeting them where they were, and healing them. Now, I'm not talking about physical healing, I'm talking mentally, spiritually. It's the most precious thing to see.

How great is our God? I know what it means to have a servant's heart. I'm not boasting, but I get serving. I'm wired to serve. Since I have experienced Tres Dias, it was my turn to let somebody experience it while I served them, fully and completely, the entire weekend. I am sick and exhausted from the weekend. But serving those women this weekend has made an impact on me, changed me somehow. I humbled myself this weekend to do something I've never done before. Jesus talked about how He was a servant, nothing more. It was not above Him to wash his disciples feet and it wasn't above us. Saturday afternoon, we became the ultimate servants and washed the feet of the ladies attending the weekend. To be serving Kristine, meeting her every need, was the highest honor I could achieve. And when it came down to her feet being washed, I broke down crying. I just felt so privileged to be honoring her like that. The only thing I could get out of my mouth was "I love you."

How great is our God? God forgave us of our sins, and He still forgives us to this very day. We are far from perfect, but Jesus was the picture of perfection. God sent Him to take the burden of my sin, your sin, all of our sins. I sometimes get caught up in my little world and screw up. We all do. I am a worrier. I have always been like that. When I mess up, I worry God is going to say, "Okay, Brandy. I can't give you any more chances. I'm through with you." But God will never say that, His greatest want is for all of us to go up to heaven with Him. I mess up, come crawling back to Him, He picks me up and takes me into His arms.

How great is our God? If you have a relationship with God, a strong relationship with God, then I don't need to ask you this question. You know how AWESOME He is, you know what has been done in your life. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, it's never too late to start. God loves you, all of you, your flaws included.

Have a great day!

Brandy

Quote of the day: "God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain." ~ C.S. Lewis

Travel through time

Hmmm...Xanga's featured question today actually prompted me to blog. Ha! I think that is a first. Let's see, if I could travel back through time, what period would I go to and why? I would most definitely go back to the time when Jesus was walking the Earth. How cool would that be? I would so love to be one of those people sitting on the mountain when Jesus gave his Sermon on the Mount. Or, to just be hanging out with him and the disciples. To see Jesus joking with his closest friends or showing his mother how much he loved her. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. Even to be there that very moment Jesus died on the cross, oh that would of been a precious moment in time.

My quest for a new church began this weekend at Broadway Christian Church. It was a pretty good service. Their contemporary service is about 200 people. The title of the sermon was "Restoring Passion to Your Life". *Sigh* It's exactly what I needed. I am going to check them out again this weekend. Last weekend they mentioned that they were going to talk about something that has to do with missions this week. You know my ears perked up when I heard that! But there are some other churches I want to check out. My last weekend serving at Central is November 10th, after that I think I'm going to take the rest of the year off from serving. I want to spend time really investing in finding a church. So, hopefully I will find a church that I can call home, then start serving fresh in the new year with them. I got an unexpected email in Myspace from someone who wanted to share some encouragement about finding a new church. It was definitely welcomed and appreciated. I do not feel that I'm making the wrong decision by leaving, but I've gotten a little heat from it. Yeah, you know me, always causing trouble. She just really encouraged me in my search and told me not to get down. My roomie also has been encouraging. She said I'm passionate about God and will find another church in no time. My biggest fear is that I'll get tired of going to different churches every week and just stop going. I've seen it happen to many people. She also reminded me that I love the idea of fellowship (also known as I'm a social butterfly), and flock to people.

This next weekend, I'm going up to Tres Dias again. It's a retreat where you will meet God in a whole new place. I just went in March, but now, I'm serving. I have the wonderful priveledge of now serving someone who is very important to me, Kristine. She is going next weekend and I can't wait to share this experience with her. I hope God moves in her completely, like he did with me. Since that retreat, my life has not been the same. I have a list of people that I want to send, but I don't know if I'll ever serve again. There is a lot to serving! Between work, school, and preparing for this retreat, I've had no time!

Anyways, that is all I have for now!

Have a great day!

Bran

Quote of the day: "Change your thoughts and change your world." ~Norman Vincent Peale

Broken

Hello everyone! How are you? I'm doing simply fantastic! I went to Prescott for the weekend on a women's retreat (Tres Dias). Before I start typing here are some pics. It snowed up there and melted the next day. It was dry and looked like it didn't even snow there.

After the snow melted, this tree was beautiful. I kept leaving my camera in my dorm, so I didn't get the after shot.

I love pics of crosses.

This one is my favorite.

It's funny how the snow only stuck to the plants. I loved how the snow defined all those plants on the ground.

I hadn't seen snow in 9 years. I was happy to see it, but happy when it melted also. It was cold up there! Anyways, I can't begin to put into writing how much this weekend helped me. I so needed to get away. I needed God to break me completely down, to build me up again and have an even closer relationship with Him than before. I realized on Saturday, how far I had gotten away from God. I was just going through the motions of being a Christian not really focusing on my relationship with Christ. I was taking my faith lightly. I could go into detail about everything that happened, but it is too personal to post. Let's say, I'm not an emotional person, but I was this weekend, I became a babbling baby. Every time my surrogate mom looked at me, I was crying. If you ever have the opportunity to experience Tres Dias, I highly suggest that you do. I feel as if my soul has been awakened.

Quote of the day: "Some stand on tiptoe trying to reach God to talk to Him - you try too hard, friend, - drop to your knees and listen to Him, He'll hear you better that way." Ever Garrison

Scripture of the day: "I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands." Ezekiel 36:26-27, The Message