Monday, August 25, 2014

What the Future Holds

Blogger world! What's crack-a-lackin'? This blog has been horribly neglected. Horribly. I constantly think about all these things to blog about, but can never seem to get my thoughts straight. I'm going to try to convey what is going on in my life the best I can.

My last post, I wrote about finally finishing up my pre-reqs for the nursing program. I took this semester off and was going to hopefully start the program (If I got in) in January. Here is where everything stands, the deadline to apply for the winter semester is September 1st.

Have I taken my TEAS nursing test? No. Therefore, I haven't applied for the program and won't be applying for the winter semester. You might ask why isn't this done as I'm not one to procrastinate. This time off of school has made me realize that I don't want to be a nurse. In all honestly, I really just feel that it's become an unattainable goal. And because my thoughts has come to this, I just don't want to pursue it anymore. I began looking at other options like being a LPN or a Medical Assistant. And at least once a week, someone tells me I would be a good teacher or social worker. Then I thought maybe God has been trying to tell me something this entire time about my future and I just never listened until now. I went to my school's website and pulled up the course tracks for different areas I was looking at to see what it would take to acquire some sort of degree. They all have about the same amount of classes. After looking through everything, the truth is I have no idea what I want do with my life. I just want to help people. God put me on this Earth for that reason and it's all I really want to do.

I know some of you reading this are probably saying to yourself, "Brandy, you've come so far, you have to finish and get your nursing degree." I know that, I realize how far I've come, how long it has taken me to get this far. I am also my harshest critic and feel like a complete failure for choosing not to go the nursing route. But if my heart is no longer in the game, there's no point in pursing it any further. I know that if I were to pursue nursing with my heart not being in the right place, it will just make things worse. So, at least I'm trying to be smart with it. But please try to understand where I am coming from. You haven't gone through what I've gone through with school. I do realize a lot of the lengthy schooling as been my fault, but it's still not easy to swallow.

Am I choosing to pursue another area of study? Not at this time. I've rather enjoyed my time off from school and I'm currently in the process of looking for a new job. I've needed a new job for awhile, but constantly put it off because of school. I just didn't want to quit one job, get a new one, only to quit that job to pursue school. But I've toughed it out as much as I could with my current job and I just can't do it anymore. Right now, I'm choosing happiness over school. I recently reapplied to work back with the government. One of the positions I applied for is similar to what I did in Arizona. I am praying my resume at least gets looked at. This job is about $9K more a year. And that would tremendously help and I would even be able to possibly pay for school if I decide to pursue further education in the future.

So there you have it. No school for the time being.


Anonymous said...

I love you
I pray for you daily
God will reveal to you what He has in mind for you - my prayer speciciifically is that when the answer is there - it BLARE loudly, so you have zero doubt!

Sara Marie said...

I'm a bad friend that I am only now reading this. I saw it in my blog queue weeks ago and didn't get around to it. So, I seek your forgiveness there.

I'm not going to give you my opinion. You don't need that. It doesn't matter what I think--it matters what you think and, more importantly, what you think GOD wants. I will pray for you as you are in this time of discerning what His will is for this next part of your life. Whatever it is, it's meant to bring Him glory, and you'll find it. Perhaps when (and where) you least expect it.

I love you, friend!