Where Are You?
Five years ago I heard about a website titled FutureMe.org. It’s a website where you can send yourself an email to your future self. I can’t remember the time frames you can choose from, but for some reason I chose for the email to be sent today…five years later.
And I completely forgot about the email. I even forgot about the website. Until today. Today I got an email from FutureMe. At first, I thought it was spam, but then I realized what it was. The first sentence says, “The following in an email from the past, composed 4 years and 12 months ago, on June 28, 2008.” I had titled the email, “Where are you?”
Five years ago:
- I still lived in Arizona.
- I still worked for the government.
- Moving back to Indiana wasn’t even on my radar.
- I idolized someone so much, I put them before God.
- I admitted to my depression struggles and put myself in counseling.
- My mother was still alive.
Wow, it's crazy what can happen in five years.
Here’s most of the email I sent to myself five years ago.
Dear Future Me:
Where are you living? Are you still living in the United States or did you finally make your dream of becoming a missionary in South American a reality?
Are you even alive? If so, what have you done with your life?
I hope by the time you read this, you’re fulfilling your dream.
Where are you in your faith? Have you made God proud?
Do you still even believe in God? At the time of writing this letter you are fighting your demons every day. They win a lot.
Have you brought anyone to Jesus? Have you spoken to people about Jesus? I hope you have.
I think when you read this, you should journal about it.
Pay attention to your life, every little detail.
You never know when you’re going to die; only God knows this.
I left a few personal things about because it’s water under the bridge. The email was short, but it hit home in a lot of ways. Do I still dream about being a missionary? Yes, and God has opened my eyes to a whole bigger world in South Africa. But to be honest, I feel in a lot of ways that my mission field is right here in Indiana.
Since I have yet to become a nurse, I would say that I’m still fulfilling my dream of being a nurse. I’ve wanted to throw in the towel many times, but I kept on going. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I hope that's the case.
A few things struck a chord with me. The question asking if I was still alive and if I still even believe in God. Whew! Knowing where my mind was five years ago, I knew why I had said that. Depression had taken over my life and I was beginning to lose hope. Wow, that seems so long ago. I still have my struggles with it, but it’s nothing like it was back then.
Have I made God proud? Have I talked about Jesus? Have I brought people to Jesus? I hope the answer to these questions are yes. Because now and till the end of my life, I want nothing more than to have God beam with pride at the thought of my name. And for Him to say, “You did good, Bran!”
I’m going to send some more emails to myself; it’s always good to reflect back.