Monday, January 14, 2013

Moving On

I am someone who actually enjoys the job I do. Sure the pay isn't the greatest, but in the big scheme of things, money is not so important. To me loving a job is about enjoying what you do, taking pride in what you do, and building relationships with your customers (both external and internal). Although I don't deal with customers face-to-face, I take pride in speaking with them. It's the best part of my job, even if I only have them on the phone for 5 minutes. I also take pride in building relationships in the people I work with (again internally and externally).

But there's this one person where building a relationship has proved to be one of the hardest things I think I have ever done. Killing her with kindness has not worked. Practicing teamwork has not worked. Ignoring her has not worked. She is honestly the most hateful person I have ever encountered in my entire life thus far. We are on the same team together. She's very condescending and rude to everyone, she's constantly saying hateful comments under her breath (but still loud enough for everyone to see), she goes behind and checks my work, and she's constantly proving she knows everything better than I do. She spends her day "researching things" that me or other coworkers have done wrong (Okay, usually not even wrong, it's things that we don't do her way, so it's wrong!). She spends so much time doing that, she leaves her work for me to do. She's beyond rude to insurance companies and none of the clinics want to work with her because she's so rude.

She's had me in the bathroom crying three times because she has talked to me like I'm such a dog and I honestly feel that I can't say anything back to her. I feel like I would be fired even though she breaks every single one of our standards. She's the definition of an office bully. No one likes her. And since she constantly feels the need to "show me up", I'm starting to constantly feel like I'm failure. Me feeling like a failure = my depression coming out. She feeds into my depression like no other. I realize that I can choose not to let her affect my feelings. But that is easier said than done. I struggle with feeling like a failure just for myself. But someone else feeding into that (And doing it every single day) is too much. I've brought it up to management numerous times. I've even been in their office crying my eyes out because I truly love my job, but she's making me miserable. I no longer enjoy my job solely because of her. But I'm starting to see that her seniority takes priority. She doesn't get talked to about anything. Although my concerns are listened to by management, that's all that happens. Listening.
I just can't take it anymore. 
I am mentally beaten up because of her. 

I've been praying for a change, really praying she just retires. But I now feel that God has in store for me to leave. He know how my whole being is being broken down because of her. I trust God and I know he has something in store for me, but it's sucks (pardon my language) because I love that job.  But, I'm going to work on obtaining another job and just leave that position quietly. If I happen to find a job outside of the company I am with, that will sadden me as I want to stay with them. But I'll then let HR know why I left a company that I truly enjoyed working for. Maybe once I'm gone, they'll see.

And so the search begins...again. *Sigh*


Anonymous said...

Love you friend.

P.S. Happy Birthday!!!

Alba said...

You really ought to report her for harrassment or bullying. Leaving the job just leaves her to bully or harrass someone else, but if you take a stand and show her that she can't treat others badly without consequences, then you'll be doing something amazing in your workplace for yourself and for other people. Leaving doesn't change things, because what if you arrive at a new workplace or encounter a similar person at your new job? Running away is never the answer. Stand tall and stand up for yourself.

Jay said...

update your blog!!!!! *stomps feet*