Lately, I've been praying. No, I mean really praying, down on my knees. My last post was right after the earthquake hit Chile. Since then, numerous earthquakes have struck there again. I blogged about how I just wanted to go and I wanted to go to Chile, no where else.
Before when I used to pray, I would get all comfy in bed, do some reading and start falling asleep. I would turn the light off and then begin to pray. Of course, I would fall asleep praying, waking up the next morning not even remembering where my prayers left off. But since the earthquake in Chile, I've been praying differently. Before I even get in my bed, I've been praying on my knees, on the side of my bed like this little boy in the picture.
My normal prayers usually include a sick friend or family member etc. But since my last post, I have been praying for God to do something radical in my heart. To open the door to my future in the mission field and for me not to question and be prepared at any moment. I feel something happening and I'm not sure what it is. My thoughts and my actions are changing, little my little. I want to go somewhere, anywhere. That may not include Chile. I want to do God's work and I want to make Him happy. My eyes have been opened in the past month to the fact that if you put me in the mission field and I'm working with kids, then I'm in my sweet spot. It doesn't matter where it is. Just give me some little kids to love on and my heart will run over. Sun Valley has been showing videos about a ministry they work with in South Africa called Helping Hands in Africa . It's an organization that works with orphaned kids who have lost their parents or grandparents to AIDS. Every single time they show the video, I cry. I cry because my heart is touched and I cry because my heart is hurting for those kids. See, mission field + kids = Brandy's heart.
A friend brought up at lunch today that the one thing I fight with mission work (and if you know me, you know what I struggle with), will probably be where God places me. She wanted to know if I was ready for that if it happened. No, I'm not. I've fought this one thing for so long. But if God opens that door to that particular subject, then I have to be willing to walk through it and trust Him, no question asked.
Oh Lord, I wish I could get just a little glimpse into your plans for me. Please, just a little peek to guide me in the right direction in I should be taking.