Do you ever question God? I know I do. I know we are not supposed to, we are supposed to 100% put our faith in Him. But...I will admit I question Him, His motives frequently.
When things like the cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other forces of nature happen I question why He allowed it. Why is there 90,000 people dead in China from that earthquake they just had? Why?
Why did something like 9/11 happen? I know that issue had to do with freewill of the men who terrorized our country. Those men chose to do that, because according to their beliefs, that was the right thing to do. But do you know how many people questioned God when that happened? Questioned me because I'm a believer...and lost their complete faith in God? Many, probably more than we realize. Why does God allow children to get sexually, physically, and emotionally abused? Why? Does He allow it, or is it another choice of free will? The people doing the abuse is making that choice to do that. I'm not saying, it's okay, because it's definitely not. I just can't comprehend it happens.
I get the fact that if we didn't have free will given to us by God, we wouldn't have a need for Jesus dying on the cross. Everyone would be believers and the world would be a happy go lucky place, there would be no need for us telling people about Christ. Nobody would understand what He suffered for us, to save us of our sins. We would all just be "robots" going through the motions of life and being a Christian. But, no we have the right to choose Christ into our life. Yes, God wants us all to go to heaven, but he equipped us to make that choice. He equipped us to choose between right and wrong, having Christ in our life or not.
Why do people get cancer and suffer so horribly? Why does He allow it? If somebody's time is up...couldn't they just pass away in their sleep, peacefully? There are so many other reasons why we question God, these are just a few.
My melancholy blog today has to with me questioning God. Last night I received a disturbing text message from a dear friend. Her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year now. She has no problem getting pregnant, but unfortunately her body simply can't handle the pregnancy and she has miscarried 3-4 times now. She has not been able to keep the pregnancy past 5 weeks. This last time, she got pregnant, she told me she had a calm about her and she felt like this was the one; the pregnancy that would go full term. I never prayed for something so hard before in my life. I prayed everyday, numerous times a day to God asking Him to let this pregnancy be the one, let it be a healthy pregnancy, no complications now or during labor. She's almost 3 months along. Yesterday, they had the most important doctor's appointment. They would hear the baby's heartbeat and the % of her having a miscarriage would go down to 2%. They heard no heartbeat, and the doctor said it appears that the baby stopped growing. Today, they are going to get an ultrasound, to ensure that this is the case, and if the baby is no longer living she will have a medical procedure done to remove the baby from her body. My heart aches for them, they were so excited for this pregnancy. And they even bought a crib, began planning for the baby, told their family members. She just needed to get pass this doctor's appointment yesterday and everything would be okay. But she didn't make it.
And so, can you see why I'm questioning God? Why do you allow people to get pregnant and they can't provide for their children, they neglect their children, they abuse their children, they even kill their children, and yet my dear friends who would provide nothing but a loving, caring, Christian environment can't keep their baby to full term? I don't know what is worse...not being able to get pregnant at all or getting pregnant and losing the baby. They are very strong Christians, but even the strongest of people would have to question as to why this is happening to them.
In the Bible Job and Habakkuk are full of questioning to God. Habakkuk 1:2-3 says,
2 How long, O LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!"
but you do not save?
3 Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Oh man...those verses are so right on right now. But through all the suffering, I have heard about good things coming from suffering. I know something will come out of this, something good. It has to, God promises this much.
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:26-28, The Message