Gracias a Dios

***Every year about Thanksgiving, I post this post. Sometimes I edit it and sometimes I just leave it the way it is. It's a reminder of where I've been and how far I've come.***

God,

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for loving me even when I screw up. Your love is like nothing I have ever felt.

I don't say thank you enough for sending Jesus to die for my sins and I'm sorry for that. I forget about the cross on my neck sometimes, forget why I wear it. God, thank you for never letting me walk away from you 100%, you always manage to pull me back when I get too far away from you. Thank you for stopping me, being my conscience when my "old self" comes out. You stop me from going backwards, force me to own up to my actions, no matter how bad it is.

Thank you for saving me and caring about me. No one has ever cared for me like you do. Why do you do it? There have been many times when I dishonored you. There are so many people who don't care about you. Ah, I get it, you not only love me but you love them too? Irregardless of what they do? That's awesome, it really is.

Thank you for assuring me that I'm gonna be alright when I don't seem to think so. Thank you for showing light in my sometimes dark world. I haven't had any dark days in awhile, thank you for that. Thank you for always welcoming me back to your arms when I stray off your path. I don't deserve this kind of love from you. Your love is so amazing, your grace and mercy is beyond my comprehension. Thank you for always having time for me, when my schedule is so busy, I have no time for you.

Thank you for sometimes "slapping me in the face" to make me open my eyes to see what you see. I am so blind sometimes. Thank you for always keeping my eyes open and for wiring me to put others needs before myself. Thank you for times you've prompted me to feed a homeless person or help an elderly woman with her groceries, or whatever. I've been crazy blessed every time I've done it.

Thank you for making the person that I am. You made me this way for a reason. Thank you for showing me that my purpose is to serve you above everything. That right there is an honor, the highest to speak of.

Thank you for the fact that I can hear the sounds around me, like the sound of a child laughing, of the waves crashing against the shore. The sounds of people singing only for You. The sound of people crying out to you in adoration.

Thank you for my sight, through my eyes, I have seen your beauty in people as well as in nature, the world's pain, the smile of a loved one. I've seen You. I see you always.

Thank you for my sense of smell, I have smelled fresh green grass and the ocean air. I love to smell a baby's head, a puppy's breath, and orange blossoms. The smell of my grandmother's perfume on someone brings back so many memories. I have smelled the pages of an old Bible and loved it. They all remind me of you, God, somehow.

Thank you for my sense of touch, to me the most important sense I have. With this, I have felt the greatest hug from friends, the kiss on my hand from a stranger in need, the softness of a baby's cheek, the comfort of a warm blanket, a little one's hand tightly wrapped around my one finger, felt you in a breeze. I have felt my hands in yours. You're still holding my hands, I feel it more every day.

Thank you for blessing me with such awesome friends that I love dearly and hold very close to my heart. I take them for granted sometimes and forget to thank you for them also. These are the ones who show me you're still around when I can't find you. Thank you for the amazing way they love me, no matter what I do, their love for me never ends.

Thank you for Heather. Her long-lasting friendship has been what pulled me through many tough times in my life. Deaths of our parents, boys breaking our hearts, tears over many things, laughter over so much more, her marriage and having a child, friendships lost through the years, and we are still kicking over 25 years later. I can't imagine my life without her.

Thank you for Kristine. Our friendship has come so far since we went to Chile in 2006. She keeps me grounded and makes sure I don't forget who you are and why I follow you. And when I was actually thinking about taking my life that you gave me, she was the first person to address me and telling me that I needed to get help. You nurtured our friendship. You knew I would need her more than anything over this past year. Thank you for our non-stop laughter, the dancing, as well as the tears we've shared with each other. Thank you for just letting me cry when my mom died. Whew, I needed that. Te amo, mi chica.

Thank you for Romi. This is another friendship you nurtured. I broke down and told her my secret about a year ago after much prompting from you. She could relate to me and our friendship quickly blossomed. We just "get" each other in so many ways. I'm blessed to have her in my life.

I guess I get caught up in life and forget how blessed I am sometimes. I apologize for that. Thank you for opening my eyes to who you are 7 years ago. Wow, it has been a ride, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you for everything, I will be eternally grateful to you for what you have done in my life. And I'll continue to serve you in gratitude until I take my last breath.